Plane was found intact inside the CNN studios in Atlanta, Georgia, USA. Press conference scheduled for 9pm Eastern. Stay tuned.
Category Archives: Travel
CNN CONFIRMS: GOD STOLE MISSING MALAYSIA AIRLINES PLANE
(Photo: Romeo Ranoco/Reuters)
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia – With reports that Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 with 239 people on board might have flown for six and a half hours after its transponder stopped sending signals on March 8, the search for the missing Boeing 777-200ER has expanded to a vast area stretching from the Indian Ocean to as far north as Kazakhstan.
Malaysian authorities have not ruled out any theories – from mechanical problems and pilot error to hijacking and pilot suicide. But they seemed to have missed one possible cause of the plane’s disappearance.
It took anchors and analysts from a respected U.S. news cable network to state the obvious: God may have stolen the plane.
The anchors and analysts bandied about the idea Sunday afternoon that something “beyond our understanding” happened to Malaysia Airlines flight MH 370, that “something” being perhaps supernatural maybe?
“Especially today, on a day when we deal with the supernatural,” the anchor said. “We go to church, the supernatural power of God…people are saying to me, why aren’t you talking about the possibility — and I’m just putting it out there — that something odd happened to this plane, something beyond our understanding?”
What is surprising to television viewers is that the cable news network was not Fox News. It was CNN. The Anchor? Don Lemon.
SHORTAGE OF IRISH BEER IN THE U.S. REPORTED
Boston, Massachusetts – From Boston to New York, from San Francisco to Indianapolis, Irish pubs are reporting a mysterious disappearance of popular brands of Irish beer. It doesn’t bode well for the country’s Irish American population, especially with the upcoming St. Patrick’s day observance on Monday, March 17. What would St. Pat’s day be without Irish beer?
Suppliers have said that their inventory of Irish beer has never reached such a low level, saying their orders from manufacturers have been backlogged for several weeks now.
An investigation by reporters of The Adobo Chronicles has uncovered an unusually huge purchase of Irish beer brands by a famed company in St. Louis, Missouri – Budweiser. Our reporters obtained a confidential memo from Budweiser high officials directing their purchasing department to buy and hoard as much Irish beer as possible. The memo said: “Our marketing goal this coming St. Patrick’s Day is to create an artificial shortage of Irish beer so that beer drinkers will have no choice but to consume Budweiser beer.”
St. Patrick’s Day in the U.S. is credited with the highest beer consumption at any time in any given year.
It is estimated that almost 12% of the U.S. population is of Irish or part Irish heritage which makes the Irish American population greater than the actual Irish population in Ireland.
So on Monday, be prepared to be pinched by old ladies for not wearing something green, and to drink Budweiser in place of Guinness or other Irish beer brands.
The Adobo Chronicles 
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