Category Archives: The Media

THE ONION WINS PULITZER PRIZE

onionNew York, New York – The Pulitzer Prize Board announced today that The Onion has been awarded a 2014 Pulitzer Prize, joining other winners from The Washington Post, Boston Globe, Oregonian and Detroit Free Press  all of which were revealed yesterday.  The board said that it specifically delayed the announcement of the award to The Onion to generate more attention to the new award category of “Amazing News.”

The Pulitzer Prize has been awarding excellence in journalism and the arts since 1917.

Champagne flowed at the undisclosed offices of The Onion as the publisher and editors made the announcement to their staff.

Unlike the other prizes, the category of “Amazing News” is not awarded to a single story, series or work.  Rather, it is an encompassing recognition of “a consistent and trademark news coverage that always catches the attention of readers,” according to the Pulitzer board.

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Andy Borowitz

The 2014 Finalists for the “Amazing News” Pulitzer included ‘The Andy Borowitz Report’ published by The New Yorker, and the independently-published The Adobo Chronicles.cropped-adobochron4.jpg

PACMAN VS. TAXMAN: INTERNAL REVENUE CHIEF FLYING TO LAS VEGAS TO PERSONALLY COLLECT TAXES FROM PACQUIAO

Pacquiao and Henares
Pacquiao and Henares

Manila, Philippines – The Commissioner of the Philippines’ Bureau of Internal Revenue (BIR) is flying to Las Vegas today to personally collect taxes on Manny Pacquiao’s earnings from the latter’s latest championship fight.  Pacquiao on Saturday regained the WBO welterweight title from American Timothy Bradley.  Pacquiao, who won by a unanimous decision, is expected to pocket some $20 Million in prize money, in addition to an unspecified percentage of receipts from Pay Per View’s cable coverage of the event.

In recent months, Commissioner Kim Henares has been after Pacquiao and other high-profile celebrities in what many believe is her personal crusade to prevent her tax agency from bankruptcy. She believes her policy of going after the “big guns” will salvage the BIR from total collapse.

In a statement made to reporters at the Departure VIP Lounge of the Ninoy Aquino International Airport, Henares said she wanted to witness first hand how much the boxing promoter will give to Pacquiao as his prize money. She plans to demand immediate payment of taxes from Pacquiao while she is in Las Vegas.

Henares admitted that her trip to Las Vegas is funded by taxpayer money but insisted that the expense is well worth the tax that will be collected from Pacquiao.

TIMOTHY BRADLEY ACCUSES MANNY PACQUIAO’S MOM OF VOODOOISM

Mommy D Pacquiao
Mommy D Pacquiao

Las Vegas, Nevada – Manny Pacquiao won a 12-round unanimous decision over Timothy Bradley on Saturday to avenge his controversial 2012 loss to the previously unbeaten American. But that was not the big news.

Moments after losing the WBO welterweight crown to the Filipino boxer and congressman, Bradley accused Pacquiao’s mom Dionisia, popularly known as Mommy D, of voodooism. Bradley claims that Mommy D cast some witchcraft on him, causing him to be disoriented in the last few rounds of the title fight at the MGM arena in Las Vegas.Mommy D was caught on camera, clutching a rosary and a tiny missalette, uttering unintelligible words while pointing at the American boxer.

It is believed that witchcraft is still practiced in parts of the Philippines and there still exist some occasional witches, locally known as mangkukulam.

The Pacquiao camp, however, simply dismissed Bradley’s accusation as “sour grapes.”