Category Archives: The Media

Business, International, Politics, Technology, The Media, Travel

TOP TEN THINGS YOU’LL NEED UPON LANDING AT NINOY AQUINO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

May 26, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – The murdered Filipino opposition leader must be turning and twisting in his grave as the international airport named after him has gained the reputation as the worst in the world. Manila’s Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) has been the subject of ridicule in recent months not only for overcrowding, confusing signage or lack thereof, clueless airport personnel, and most of all, non-functioning airconditioning units.

As of press time, new airconditioning units have reportedly arrived but it is no guarantee that incoming and outgoing passengers will keep their cool.

As a stop-gap measure, the Philippines’ Airports Authority issued a travel advisory recommending the top ten things traveling passengers will need upon disembarkation:

1. Anahaw (wicker) fans. They’re relatively inexpensive. Foreigners can easily borrow these from their Filipino friends and neighbors. They are also sold at NAIA concession stands.

2. If you want to go high tech, you can purchase battery-operated personal fans from almost every mall in America and elsewhere.

3. Cotton towel, to wipe your sweat and keep you dry at all times, especially while in line at the immigration, customs and baggage claim areas.

4. Plastic spray bottle. Make sure to fill it up with water before de-planing. You will need to squirt some mist on your face every minute or so.

5. Deodorant. Be courteous to your fellow incoming passengers.

6. Perfume. Make it a Prada. Filipinos love designer stuff

7. Face mask. It will not only protect you from airborne viruses, but from the stench of sweat all around you.

8. Bikini top for women. Think of it as entering a dry sauna. And make it Victoria’s Secret. Filipinos love designer stuff.

9. Bikini bottom for men. Make it Calvin Klein. Filipinos love designer stuff.

10. Ice-cold bottled water. Not just any bottled water. Make it a Fiji. Did we already mention Filipinos love designer stuff?

Mabuhay! Welcome to Manila, you know, the place novelist Dan Brown calls “the gates of hell.”

Business, Film and TV, Human Interest, International, Law Enforcement, Politics, The Media

PHILIPPINE PORK BARREL SCAM: ‘NAPOLES LIST’ FINALLY REVEALED

May 25, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – After weeks of intense pressure from senators and congressmen as well as the media, Philippine Justice Secretary Leila de Lima finally revealed the so-called ‘Napoles List’ which contained names of individuals that benefited from the 10 Billion-peso pork barrel scam. The scam allegedly siphoned taxpayer money into ghost nongovernmental organiztions (NGOs) and projects as well as the pockets of senators, congressmen, Aquino administration officials, the Justice Department, journalists and yes, even Catholic bishops.

The ‘Napoles List’ was contained in a signed affidavit obtained from suspected pork barrel scam mastermind Janet Lim-Napoles. De Lima persistently refused to make the list public, saying that the Justice Department needed more time to conduct a more thorough investigation of the celebrated case.

But today, de Lima made the list public.

The Adobo Chronicles obtained an early copy of the list. Because of limited space, we are publishing the list in installments of ten, starting with these names:

Elena Magtanggol
Perla Silanganan
Bayani Magiliw
Alana Puso
Lupa Hinirang
Duhat Magiting
Dibdiban de la Cruz
Juan Tamadino
Dyesebel Moreno
Darna Zobel

While no senators and congressmen are on this initial list, it does not mean that they are scathe-free. In fact this initial list are names of mistresses and gigolos of senators and congressmen who received money from the Priority Development Assistance Fund (PDAF) or pork barrel funds.

Stay tuned for the next installment.

Business, International, Politics, Technology, The Media, Travel

PHILIPPINES ROLLS OUT NEW AMBITIOUS TOURISM CAMPAIGN

May 23, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

New Rolce Royce Showroom in Bonifacio Global City, Manila

Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – “It’s More Fun in the Philippines!” No longer. After many years using this campaign mantra to entice foreigners and Filipino expatriates to visit the Philippines, the Department of Toursim (DOT) is finally retiring the much-maligned catch phrase.

DOT is unveiling a new tourism campaign titled, “The Philippines is Better in a Rolce Royce.” No taxpayer dollars will be used by DOT since the new campaign is fully funded by the elite British car company. Rolce Royce recently opened its very first showroom in Manila.

In explaining the new tourism theme, DOT Secretary Ramon Jimenez, Jr. said that one of the biggest failures of the past tourism campaign is the seemingly hopeless traffic situation encountered by visitors to Manila and other Philippine cities. Jimenez said. “We wanted to take a negative situation and turn it around to sound more appealing to tourists.”

As part of a billion-dollar agreement with DOT, Rolce Royce will roll out hundreds of their used cars and lease them to taxicab operators. The goal is to eventually replace all dilapidated taxi cabs with Rolce Royces. “In an ideal situation, cab riders, especially tourists will have a pleasant experience even while stuck in traffic. What a better way to get stuck in traffic than inside a Rolce Royce,” Jimenez said.

So the next time you visit the Philippines, hop into a Rolce Royce. You won’t even notice the horrendous traffic. And while in it, open up a bottle of ice-cold San Miguel beer!