Category Archives: LGBT

SPEAKER BOEHNER THANKS PRESIDENT OBAMA FOR CANTOR’S DEFEAT

imageWashington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – Is the Washington gridlock finally coming to an end?

In his first public comment on the primary election defeat of House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, Speaker John Boehner thanked President Obama for his invaluable role in the victory of Tea Party-backed candidate Dave Brat.  Brat defeated incumbent Cantor in last week’s GOP primary elections in Virginia’s 7th congressional district.

In an unusual conciliatory tone, Boehner told reporters: “You have to understand, the American people are being squeezed by Obama’s policies. The economy is not growing. Incomes aren’t growing. We’re not creating enough jobs. And two-thirds of America have seen no increase in their wages but their food prices are going up, their gas prices are going up, and their health insurance prices are going up. And so there’s a lot of frustration that’s out there, and they look to Washington, and wonder why we can’t resolve these issues. And they’re hard to resolve when you’ve got a president who won’t engage.”

The teary-eyed Boehner concluded: “So, thank you, Mr. President. You have opened our eyes.  I look forward to working with you more closely in the final years of your presidency.”

End of gridlock.

TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY ADMITS HE HAS THE HOMOSEXUAL GENES

imageSan Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Texas Governor and former presidential candidate Rick Perry has just endeared himself to the homosexual community.

In a speech before members of the Commonweath Club of California, Perry admitted that in the same way he has the genetic makeup to become an alcoholic, he also has the genes to become a latent homosexual. Perry’s comments all but confirm his belief that the gay lifestyle is not a choice.

“I (may) have the genetic coding (that I’m inclined) to be an alcoholic, but (and) I have the desire  not  to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way,” Perry said in his San Francisco speech. The governor however refused to reveal a timeline in which he will act upon his gay genes.

The Log Cabin Republicans, the lgbt group within the GOP, immediately praised Perry and vowed to fully endorse his candidacy should he decide again to run for president in 2016.

The San Francisco Pride Committee convened an emergency meeting last night and unanimously voted to make Perry an honorary grand marshall at this month’s pride parade and celebration.

STANFORD SCIENTISTS DISCOVER MUTANT GENE THAT CAUSES HETEROSEXUALITY

imagePalo Alto, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Twenty years ago, a study by American scientist Dean Hamer claimed to have discovered a so-called “gay gene” – but his research was criticised vocally by several right-wing US politicians and certain members of the religious community.

Now, scientists at the Human Genome Project have found evidence pointing to the existence of not one, but two or more so-called “gay genes.”

“Sexual orientation has nothing to do with choice,” said lead researcher Michael Bailey of Northwestern University in Chicago. “Our findings suggest there may be genes at play, and we found evidence for two sets that affect whether a man is gay or straight.”

Meanwhile, researchers at Stanford University are about to announce the results of a ground-breaking study that explains why people become heterosexual. They discovered a mutant gene which they named HTXL-1 which is responsible for a person’s heterosexual orientation.

“During the first three months of pregnancy, human genes circulate inside the fetus, trying to claim their proper position in the baby’s overall genetic makeup,” the researchers said. “During this process, a few genes mutate, causing a great imbalance in the genetic makeup. This mutation and imbalance produce right-leaning genes and eventually determine a person’s heterosexual orientaion,” they added.

The study concluded that 90% of fetuses develop these mutant genes.