Category Archives: Law Enforcement

Food, Health & Medicine, International, Law Enforcement, Politics, Sports

YOGURT AND VODKA WAR AT SOCHI WINTER OLYMPICS

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imageSochi, Russia – The United States is sending its largest-ever contigent to a winter Olympics, with 230 athletes competing in Sochi. But there is a bigger story.

When the American Olympians enter the stadium at Friday’s opening ceremony, each will carry an open bottle of Russian vodka. As soon as  they reach the front of the VIP stand, they will pour the vodka into the parade grounds.

The reason? It is to protest the embargo by the Russian government of a shipment of Chobani Greek yogurt which was supposed to be fed to the U.S. athletes while in Sochi. The yogurt shipment is in limbo at a New Jersey airport. The U.S. government has accused the Russians of using this nutritious food as a vehicle to show who’s in charge.

To counter the U.S. public protest, Russian officials have mandated that all American athletes undergo a blood test two hours before their respective scheduled competitions to detect even the slightest trace of vodka in their system. “Intimidation tactics,” one U.S. Olympic official said.

International, Law Enforcement, Politics, Sports, Travel

WORLD’S FIRST ‘GAYDAR’ TO DEBUT AT SOCHI WINTER OLYMPICS

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The Iceberg Skating Palace in Sochi, Russia
The Iceberg Skating Palace in Sochi, Russia

Sochi, Russia – When the figure skating competitions begin a day before the actual Winter Olympics opening ceremonies, athletes and spectators will go through what may seem like security metal detectors. But lo and behold, they are actually ‘gaydars.”

These special detectors, the first if its kind in the world, will be installed at all entrances to the  Iceberg Skating Palace, the 12,000-seat venue of the ice skating competitions.

Everyone knows by now that Russia has strict anti-gay laws in place, prohibiting any public display of homosexuality.  While the Putin government has said that no foreigner will be arrested under these laws during the duration of the winter games, it is nevertheless taking extreme measures to discourage public display of homosexuality.

The gaydar technology, developed in China by Apple, will detect even the slightest trace of gayness by scanning the retina of the eyes and flagging any abnormal flickering of the fingers.

Russian officials said that any athlete or spectator who fails the high-tech test will be denied enty into the competitions.  It wasn’t clear if the figure skating competitors are exempted from the screening. “I think the skaters will be exempted,” said one official, “otherwise we might not have any competition to watch if  any of the skaters are banned from the skating arena.”

The men’s short program kicks off the figure skating competitions on February 6 and the Opening Ceremonies will be held February 7.

Business, International, Law Enforcement, Politics

INDIA’S BRILLIANT IDEA FOR GUN-CONTROL

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The Pink Lady
The Pink Lady

New Delhi, India – India may just have found the solution towards gun control, and other countries are closely watching.

A gun company in this nation of 1.2 Billion people has just manufactured a gun designed for women: light, sleek and pink. The idea of a pink pistol came about as a result of increasing rape and violence against women. In its marketing campaign, the gun manufacturer says that “it is time women started carrying guns to protect themselves from rapists and attackers.”

Now, the Indian Parliament is considering passing a legislation that would ban the manufacture of all guns, except the pink pistol.  The measure is expected to reduce gun ownership among men who constitute 77 percent of all gun owners. The legislators believe that the pink pistol will discourage men who are much concerned about their “macho” image from purchasing this deadly weapon.

Under the proposed legislation, current gun owners will be given six months from the passage of the law to surrender their firearms or trade them in for pink pistols.

The American National Rifle Association (NRA) is reportedly very nervous about this Indian legislation and has mobilized its top lobbyists in Washington, D.C. to make sure that no such legislation is introduced in the U.S. Congress.