Manila, Philippines – According to a new law recently passed in North Korea, all men are now required to sport the exact same haircut as President Kim Jong-un. Previously, men were given several choices of state-approved hairstyles. There is no change as far as women’s hairstyles are concerned.
Elsewhere in Asia, Philippine President NoyNoy Aquino has issued a new executive order mandating that all Filipinos speak only in Tagalog, the country’s national language. Aquino is known for always using Tagalog in his major speeches and press conferences. “Ang Tagalog ang siyang magdudulot ng pagkakaisa ng lahat ng Pilipino,” (Tagalog will bring about unity among all Filipinos) Aquino said as he announced the new executive order.
Filipinos with American and other foreign passports are exempted from the new rule.
Aquino tasked the Philippine National Police (PNP) to implement the order which provides for a fine of up to five thousand pesos for the first offense, and six months in jail for each succeeding violation.
Any civilian who reports a violator to the police will receive 10% of the fine as reward and incentive.
Washington, D.C. – Earlier this week, The Adobo Chronicles reported that the Republicans in Congress have finally agreed to support comprehensive immigration reform through a bill that would grant amnesty to the estimated 11 Million undocumented immigrants in the U.S.
Today, we have learned about additonal details of the almost identical bills in the Senate and the House of Representatives.
A key provision of the bills spells out who will be given priority in legalization or citizenship.
Undocumented immigrants whose last names correspond to the top 25 most common American surnames will be given priority in applying for a green card and eventual citizenship. The provision does not make any distinction among surnames acquired by birth, marriage or through court-approved petitions.
Hispanic, Latino, Chinese and Filipino immigration advocates immediately hailed the proposal considering that the list of top 25 most common American surnames includes : Garcia, Martinez, Rodriguez and Lee.
Washington, D.C. ( EXCLUSIVE to The Adobo Chronicles) – Just when immigration advocates, Democrats and even President Barack Obama have all but given up hope for congress to pass a comprehensive immigration reform this year, Senate and House Republicans have put forward their most favorable proposal yet. It consists of total amnesty for the estimated 11 Million undocumented immigrants living in the U.S. — on one condition.
In an exclusive interview with The Adobo Chronicles, House Speaker John Boehner announced that a draft bill which has the blessing of both Republican senators and representatives, will be introduced in Congress early this week.
Boehner said that the Republicans have finally come to the conclusion that amnesty is the only way to fix the broken immigration system. He said, however, that in order to make the reform truly comprehensive, it must not only address border security going forward but insure that the law applies to all creatures entering the United States. “This would include killer whales, elephants, lions, tigers and all animal species brought to this country by zoos, theme parks and circuses,” Boehner said.
The Adobo Chronicles obtained a copy of the draft bill which mandates that all these creatures must obtain a work visa if employed for entertainment purposes. They will also be required to obtain health insurance under Obamacare. After 5 years in the U.S., the creatures will be eligible for permanent residency, and susequently, citizenship, after another 5 years.
The White House has declined comment saying that President Obama has yet to see a copy of the draft bill.