Category Archives: Law Enforcement

Raissa Robles Could Face Child Abuse Charges Over Her Comments On Isabelle Duterte’s Malacañang Photo Shoot

IMG_2503MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – In a desperate attempt to  prove once and for all that she is really an ‘investigative journalist,’ blogger Raissa Robles went all the way to  examine documents that indicate Duterte granddaughter Isabelle is not about to celebrate her 18th birthday.

It all started with a pre-debut photo shoot  inside Malacañang featuring the young Duterte. Yellow bloggers including Robles sharply criticized  the event for all the reasons they could muster — from inappropriate use of the palace to donning four different expensive gowns to choosing a blood red-colored gown.

Robles claims that her investigation shows that Isabelle is not about to officially become an adult, but is, on the contrary, just 15 years old.

Well, Robles takes pride in her revelation, but it also opens up a possible criminal case against her for child abuse.

Republic Act 7610 protects Filipinos under the age of 18 from psychological abuse and emotional maltreatment — both of which Robles committed in her blog and Twitter posts criticizing the Malacañang photo shoot.B43FCBF8-3C52-4448-B9B8-364BE60FC067

If she had been 18, the law would not have applied to Isabelle.  But thanks to Robles, we now know that Paolo Duterte’s daughter is very much a minor.

Violation of RA 7610 carries with it a penalty of prison mayor — or up to 6 years in jail.

Imagine Robles blogging from inside prison.

Canada Outlaws Autocorrect After Legalizing Cannibalism

D2B4B3B9-C976-4913-9B48-1F3486DF3DE3OTTAWA, Canada (The Adobo Chronicles, Toronto Bureau) – Canada’s House of Commons passed Bill C-45 which legalized cannibalism.

It wasn’t meant to be that way. What it hoped to pass was a bill that would legalize recreational marijuana, or cannabis. But thanks to autocorrect, it is still illegal to smoke pot but now legal to eat humans.

Upon noticing the error, the lawmakers rushed to unanimously approve a new law outlawing autocorrect.

Alas, the cannibalism law is still alive and kicking.

 

MMDA To Reduce Maximum Speed On EDSA from 0 To 50 Km/hr

7365C2D9-326D-4E13-ACDB-08AFB18662BBMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – In a brilliant move to solve the nightmarish traffic along EDSA, the Metro Manila Development Authority (MMDA) today announced that it was reducing the maximum driving speed from 60 to 50 km/hr.

The problem is, nobody told the MMDA that current speed along the major thoroughfare averages at 0 km/hr.

Houston, we’ve got a problem!