Honolulu, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles) – Now that a new, ten-year agreement has been signed to allow increased U.S. military presence in the Philippines, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel announced today that Pearl Harbor will be relocated to Manila Bay, just behind the U.S. Embassy on Roxas Boulevard.
“It is part of the U.S. plan to be more strategic in the deployment of its troops, especially near hotspot areas in the Asian region, including China, North Korea and Russia,” Hagel said. He added that relocating Pearl Harbor to Manila makes perfect sense because of the proximity of the Philippines to the hotspot areas. Hagel also said that “after all, the Philippines is called the ‘Pearl of the the Orient Seas’ so Pearl Harbor fits right in.”
Hawaii Governor Neil Abercrombie was outraged at the federal government’s decision and threatened to join the Hawaii Independence Movement.
Meanwhile, Manila Mayor (and former Philippine President) Joseph Estrada was ecstatic and is planning a celebratory luau at the Manila Hotel this weekend.