Category Archives: Education

Sara Duterte To Mandate Satire as a Required Subject in All PH Schools!

DAVAO CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Davao Bureau) – Presumptive Vice President Inday Sara Duterte has been designated by Presumptive President Bongbong Marcos as his Secretary of the Department of Education (DepEd).

In an exclusive interview with The Adobo Chronicles, Duterte said that within her first 100 days in office as DepEd Secretary, she will mandate that all high schools and universities in the Philippines must include satire as a required subject.

Duterte lamented the fact that despite Filipinos being among the most Internet and social media savvy in the world, many still don’t recognize or understand satire. She says even Maria Ressa and Rappler can’t tell the difference between satire and fake news, notwithstanding the fact that the least-trusted news brand in the Philippines headed by a convicted criminal is, itself, accused of being a purveyor of fake news and of being a propagandist for the country’s political opposition.

At the same time, Duterte congratulated The Adobo Chronicles for being ranked No. 17 among the world’s satire sites. It is the only Filipino American site included in the list.

Duterte also appealed to Facebook and its fact checkers in the Philippines to do their homework and perhaps take a refresher course on satire, parody and sarcasm which are all universally-recognized forms of literature protected under free speech.

Taylor Swift Disappoints Leni Robredo!

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, New York Bureau) – Leni Robredo had high hopes that when she entered the stadium to witness the graduation of her daughter Jillian from New York University, she would receive a standing ovation. After all, she is the Vice President of the Republic of the Philippines.

She had also hoped that guest speaker American singer Taylor Swift would mention her in her speech and acknowledge her presence.

Alas, none of that happened.

Worse, at the conclusion of her commencement address, Swift flashed not the ”L” sign but the ”V” sign, indicating her support of Robredo’s opponent in the 2022 Philippine presidential election, Bongbong Marcos.

Indeed, it was a missed opportunity for what could have been another great photo for Robredo and her three daughters who are all girls.

U.P. Diliman Campus To Be Converted To The World’s Biggest Mall!

QUEZON CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Quezon City Bureau) – Move over, Mall of America. Here comes the Great Mall of the Philippines, bigger, better, more modern and more environment- friendly!

Hours after the U.P. Office of Student Regent urged Iskolar ng Bayan (government-paid scholars) to walk out of their classes because of the impending landslide presidential victory of Bongbong Marcos, the president-elect’s transition team immediately submitted a unique proposal: to convert the U.P. Diliman campus into the biggest mall in the world. It will be called The Great Mall of the Philippines.

The transition team made the recommendation, saying that empty classrooms and buildings at the country’s national university would be an unnecessary waste of space, resources and funds.

”Converting the entire campus into a mall would generate billions of pesos to help boost the Philippine economy, not to mention the huge government savings from the withdrawal of funds for free tuition afforded to U.P. students.

The transition team has sent out requests for proposals for the design to convert the sprawling campus to a one-of-a-kind shopping complex with lots of parking, lots of trees, and lots of customer patriotic spirit.

What a win-win project that the BBM administration is off to a great start with!

(Darwin Cañete contributed to this report.)