Category Archives: International

IMMIGRATION OFFICIALS ‘HIGH’ WHEN THEY ISSUED DEPORTATION ORDER FOR U.S. MARINE CHARGED WITH THE MURDER OF FILIPINO TRANSGENDER WOMAN

imageMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Bureau of Immigration (BI) officials admitted that they were ‘high’ on drugs when they ordered the deportation of US Marine Joseph Scott Pemberton, the primary suspect in the murder of Filipino transgender woman Jennifer Laude in October of last year.

Laude, 26, was found dead in the bathroom of a motel in Olongapo City. An autopsy report said that she died by asphyxiation due to drowning and strangulation.

According to witnesses, Laude was last seen checking in at the motel with Pemberton. The two had met at a nearby bar, where Pemberton was spending the night with fellow servicemen from the USS Peleliu, after participating in US-Philippines joint military exercises in Subic.

The BI order was based on  guidelines calling for the deportation of “undesirable aliens.”  Criminal offense is sufficient ground to declare an alien “undesirable,” the BI said.

Pemberton is currently being detained at a US facility inside Camp Aguinaldo in Quezon City.

Almost immediately following BI’s announcement of the deportation order, LGBT activists and legal luminaries criticized the agency for preempting the results of the ongoing murder trial. “How can the agency order the expulsion of a foreigner who is facing murder charges?  It almost sends the wrong message that if a foreigner commits a crime in the Philippines, he would face deportation and escape punishment,” they said.

‘How about the BI shut up and wait for the trial to proceed before making such  a stupid announcement,” a Manila transgender activist said.

Realizing their misjudgment and incompetency, top officials of BI issued an apology. “We should have realized that if Pemberton were convicted, he’d be facing imprisonment in the Philippines.  We didn’t mean to imply that we will be deporting a convicted murderer and setting him free by expelling him from the country,” they added.

Meanwhile, LGBT activists are planning to sue BI officials for incompetency and lack of common sense.

 

DONALD TRUMP TO CHALLENGE SUPERMAN’S DUAL CITIZENSHIP

CaptureLAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) – Well, it appears that Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump is not only a self-proclaimed birther and an opponent of  birth tourism (a.k.a. ‘anchor babies’); he is also against dual citizenship.

Case in point:  Trump says that if elected president, he will issue an executive order that would revoke Superman’s dual citizenship.

While Superman has apparently renounced his U.S. citizenship in favor of being an honorary citizen of every country in the world, Kent Clark has chosen to retain his. That makes Superman/Clark a dual citizen.

“Superman can’t have the best of both worlds,” Trump said. “He is either a U.S. citizen or an undocumented alien.”

While many countries allow dual citizenship for its natural-born population, the United States does not formally recognize such status for U.S. citizens.

U.S. CENSUS BUREAU TO RECLASSIFY FILIPINOS FROM ‘ASIAN’ TO ‘PACIFIC ISLANDER’

imageWASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – For decades now, Filipinos living in the United States have been lumped with the ‘Asian’ demographic subgroup by the Census Bureau. That is about to change starting with the 2020 population census.

The bureau announced today that it has decided to reclassify Filipinos to ‘Pacific Islander,’ citing several significant reasons:

  1. The Philippines is an island nation that is not connected to the main Asian continent.
  2. The country sits in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, in close proximity to other Pacific Island nations like Fiji, Guam, and the countries of Polynesia.
  3. Its tropical weather is very similar to the rest of the Pacific Island nations.
  4. The Philippines uses the Latin alphabet (ABCDE) , unlike other Asian countries which use logographics  like kanji, hanja and hangul (漢字).
  5. Most important of all, unlike their Asian counterparts in China, Japan, Korea and Vietnam, the Filipinos do not use chopsticks.  They use silverware or eat with their hands.

Filipino communities in places like Daly City, Honolulu and Jersey City immediately praised the decision by the Census Bureau.

So beginning in 2020, Filipinos will identify as P.I. — Pacific Islanders from the Philippine Islands (P.I.)