Category Archives: International

Filipino Scientists Invent A Gene Therapy That Can Cure Stupidity

DD073CAE-AD10-400F-8125-3C2BA10B6B54.jpegMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – When it comes to advances in medicine and technology, the Philippines is definitely not lagging behind.

Scientists at the Ateneo de Manila University have invented a gene therapy that can cure stupidity in human beings.

By injecting synthetic ‘I’ (intelligence) genes into clusters of naturally-occuring ‘S’ (stupidity) genes, researchers said that stupid people can transform into more intelligent individuals in just weeks.

The research, funded by the nonprofit group Intelligence Quotient International, was prompted by persistent reports that more and more Filipinos — especially elected politicians and anti-Duterte bloggers — have displayed serious cases of non-human intelligence lately.

The new discovery is sure to be among the frontrunners in next year’s Nobel Prize for Science and Technology.

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Jim Paredes Hurriedly Leaves The Philippines For Australia

D3085FC7-2A27-4B91-90DB-D2BFD42FF79CMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Duterte critic and entertainer Jim Paredes hurriedly left for his second home Australia after two significant news developments reached his attention: the possible crash into earth of a Chinese space lab and North Korea’s statement regarding an imminent nuclear war.

Paredes is a dual citizen of the Philippines and Australia.

In a text message to The Adobo Chronicles, Paredes said he was very scared about the twin news and that his first impulse was to stay as far away as possible from harms way.

“Unlike the Philippines, Australia is  a remote pathway for either the space lab debris or the nuclear bomb because of its proximity from North Korea and the trajectory of the falling debris,” Paredes said.

Well, we can’t blame him. Survival first before politics.

 

 

President Trump Recruiting Philippine National Police Chief For U.S. War On Drugs

2ED82DD0-11CC-4A05-BC4A-ACE95CE966DEWASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – President Donald Trump is set to declare opioids as a national crisis in the United States, a move that virtually mimics Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte’s war on drugs.

Sources close to The White House told The Adobo Chronicles that Trump is trying to recruit Philippine National Police (PNP) Chief Ronald ‘Bato’ de la Rosa to be his drug czar.

Trump was apparently very impressed with Duterte’s and PNP’s campaign to combat illegal drugs in the Philippines.

”Now that Duterte has transferred the anti-drug operations from PNP to the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency (PDEA), I am hoping de la Rosa will have the time to help me with my own war on drugs here in the U.S.,” The White House quoted Trump as saying.

FilAm millionnaire Loida Nicolas Lewis, an outspoken critic of Duterte, wasn’t too happy about Trump’s announcement.