Category Archives: International

Los Angeles Police Subpoenas Philippine President Duterte

LOS ANGELES, California (The Adobo Chronicles, L.A. Bureau) – The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) has issued as subpoena to Rodrigo Duterte to appear in California to explain what police found to be the Philippine President’s fake driver license. The California ID was found in an undisclosed location, and it had the President’s photograph. The license was under the name of a “Norman D.”

LAPD told The Adobo Chronicles that it has launched an investigation for possible violation of federal and state laws on falsification of public documents.

“It’s either Duterte stole and faked the license of Norman D, or Norman D faked his license using Duterte’s photo,” LAPD said.

The LAPD acknowledges that it would be very difficult for Duterte to personally appear in California because of current Covid-19 travel restrictions, particularly for senior citizens. Duterte turns 76 on March 28. However, the Department said Duterte can designate an alter ego who is able to travel and personally appear in Los Angeles as soon as possible.

When asked about the subpoena, Presidential Spokesperson Harry Roque said, “Hindi ko po alam. Wala pong nabanggit ang Pangulo sa akin.” (I don’t know. The President has not mentioned anything to me.)

This is a developing story.

After COPYRIGHT BATTLE WITH Filipino, Prince Harry PURSUES LEGAL ACTION AGAINST J.K. Rowling!

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, New York Bureau) – A small-business owner in the Philippines has found himself in a nasty copyright battle with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle over the name of his deodorant brand, “Archewell Harvatera.”

Archewell” is the name of the duke and duchess’ charity foundation, a nod to their son, Archie. 

But it’s also in the name of the natural antiperspirant sold by manufacturer Victor Martin Soriano, who chose to call his product “Archewell Harvatera” last summer, a few months after Harry and Markle named their foundation in April.

But his Royalty is not stopping there.

Reliable sources told The Adobo Chronicles that Prince Charles’ youngest son is preparing a lawsuit demanding that author JK Rowling rename the main character in her “Harry Potter” series. “There can be no other Harry in the world except me, certainly not a character in a ridiculous fictional series,” the Prince said.

So, watch out, all ye people in the world named “Harry.” Or “Meghan.”