BORACAY MANSION, Quezon City, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Amid criticism that her video message at the annual meeting of the United Nations Commission on Narcotics in Vienna last week was based on lies and was meant to destabilize the Philippines and the Duterte administration, Vice President Leni Robredo today issued a retraction.
FVP spokesperson Georgina Hernandez told The Adobo Chronicles that Mrs. Robredo inadvertently sent the wrong video to Vienna. “She apologizes to the Filipino people,” Hernandez said.
Here is the correct video message (courtesy of PH Democracy Defender):
HONOLULU, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles, Honolulu Bureau) – There is a growing movement among supporters of President Donald Trump to boycott the Paradise islands of Hawaii.
The movement, represented online by the trending hashtag “#BoycottHawaii,” came just days after a Hawaii federal judge in Hawaii issued a sweeping freeze of President Trump’s new executive order hours before it would have temporarily barred the issuance of new visas to citizens of six Muslim-majority countries and suspended the admission of new refugees.
In a 43-page opinion, U.S. District Judge Derrick K. Watson ruled that Trump’s order was meant to discriminate against Muslims.
But instead of being happy about the boycott movement, Trump criticized his own supporters saying that what they are doing is a “huge mistake.”
“Obviously, these supporters have never been to Hawaii, especially on the island of Oahu. Otherwise, they would have known that I have a Trump International Hotel just a stone’s throw away from Waikiki Beach,” the president lamented.
“The boycott movement is hurting my business,” he concluded.
Meanwhile, upon learning of the the #BoycottHawaii movement, Native Hawaiians and residents of the islands gave a huge sigh of relief. Their response? “Mahalo (thank you) for not contributing to polluting the natural beauty of our islands and the Aloha spirit of our people. No offense to us!”
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – At least 9 in 10 Filipinos said they are happy and satisfied with life in general nowadays, making it the highest happiness rate in the past 20 years, based on a Social Weather Stations (SWS) survey results.
As a follow-up to the SWS survey, The Adobo Chronicles sent its investigative reporters to find out who comprise the 10 percent of Filipinos who are not happy. Here’s a random sampling of our findings in various venues:
Boracay Mansion – VP Leni Robredo
Senate – Alfonso Trillanes
Camp Crame – Incarcerated Senator Leila De Lima
Archbishop’s Palace – Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) President Socrates Villegas
Australia – Jim Paredes
U.S. – Loida Nicolas-Lewis
News Media – Rappler’s Maria Ressa
Social Media – Cynthia Patag
Book Authors – Raissa Robles
Film – Agot Isidro
Women – Senator Risa Hontiveros
Men – Self-confessed murderer Arthur Lascañas
Children – Name withheld, still under legal age
Retired Politicians – Ex-President NoyNoy Aquino
Retired Film and TV personalities – Kris Aquino
Activists – Gabriela
Propagandists – Georgina
Landgrabbers – Luisita
The Adobo Chronicles’ random sampling has no margin of error.