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Government, Politics

Dinner Conversation Between President Duterte And VP Robredo

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Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte has invited VP Leni Robredo to dinner and the latter has accepted.

Here is the conversation that could transpire between the two highest officials of the land:

Duterte:  Welcome to Malacañang, Ma’am.  Welcome to the house of the people.

Robredo: I am honored to be invited to the house of the laylayan (outskirts).

Duterte: Huwag na tayong magpaligoy-ligoy pa (Let’s not beat around the bush). What is it that you have against me?

Robredo: What do you mean po, Sir?

Duterte: Everyday, you put out a statement criticizing my administration.  You even sent a video to the United Nations claiming that 7,000 Filipinos have been killed in my war on drugs?

Robredo: Sir, binabasa ko lang naman yung mga sinusulat ni Georgina Hernandez. Wala ho akong alam sa mga nangyayari outside of the laylayan (Sir, I simply read whatever is written by Georgina Hernandez.  I have no clue about what’s going on outside of the laylayan.)

Duterte: You know, I was elected by 16 million people and more than 80 percent of Filipinos support me and my administration.  I have a job to do and I may not even finish my 6-year term…

Robredo: Sir, that’s why I am practicing already so that in case you will no longer be able to perform your duties, then I will be prepared to take over.

Duterte: Ano ito, Miss Universe Pageant, the first runner-up will take over? (What is this, Miss Universe)

Robredo: Sir, according to my sources, you are suffering from cancer.

Duterte: Who’s your source, Georgina Hernandez?

Robredo: No sir.  Jim Paredes, Cynthia Patag and Leah Navarro — very reliable sources.

Duterte: What do you know about being president?

Robredo: Nothing, sir.  But don’t worry, I have a very capable team that will run the government once I become president.

Duterte: Like who?

Robredo: Sir, pasensiya na ho (my apologies), I am not at liberty to say.

Duterte: May pa-liberty liberty ka pa (what liberty are you talking about), I know you’re talking about P, R, and Senators T, D and H.  And I know you have financial backing from LN-L.

Robredo:  Wow, bilib ako sa inyo, sir (you impress me). Now I know why you were elected and not R, and now I also know why almost 9 in 10 Filipinos support you.

Duterte: P*tang In*, it’s only now that you realize that? Puro ka kasi  Georgina eh (you keep on leaning on Georgina.)

Robredo: Sir, pardon me, but I’m getting hungry.  What’s on the menu? Lugaw? (rice porridge)

Duterte: No. Ginisang munggo (sautéed mongo beans)

Robredo: Oh, okay. That’s fine. That’s also food for the laylayan.

 

Government, International, Law Enforcement, Media, Politics, Social Media

Adobo Chronicles Confirms New York Times’ Report On Extra-Judicial Killings In The Streets Of Manila

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IMG_0017MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – In yet another report that seeks to put President Rodigo Duterte and the Philippines in a bad light, The New York Times posted a documentary to show the world that Filipinos are living in fear and grief as a result of alleged extra-judicial killings due to the government’s campaign against illegal drugs.

The documentary claims that the “body count rises daily” on the streets of Manila.

The Adobo Chronicles sent its own investigative team of reporters and photographers to confirm what was reported by the Times.

We can now categorically say that the NYT report was mostly true!

As we walked the streets of Manila — from Tondo to Mandaluyong, from Pasay to Makati — we could not believe what we saw: dead bodies piled up everywhere!

We documented every single dead body we encountered and came up with these numbers which seem to match up perfectly with the 7,000 EJKs reported by the news media here and abroad:

  • Ants – 2,800
  • Flies – 1,200
  • Cockroach – 1,500
  • Rats – 500
  • Lizards – 500
  • Could not be identified because of advanced decay – 500

Our investigation only proves that The New York Times is a very reliable source of fair, accurate and balanced reporting.  We urge you to subscribe now!

Government, Politics, Religion

Duterte Appoints Filipino Archbishop To New Key Cabinet Post

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IMG_0018.PNGMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – If you can’t lick ’em, welcome them into your fold.  This seems to be Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte’s latest strategy in dealing with his staunchest critics.

Archbishop Socrates Villegas, president of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) has just been appointed by Duterte as his Secretary of Religion and Morality.

Villegas has been a vocal critic of the Duterte administration, using the Catholic Church’s bully pulpit to incite Filipino Catholics to resist and reject Duterte’s war on drugs, which many lost souls are blaming for the alleged extra-judicial killings.

Just a couple weeks ago, Villegas and the CBCP issued a pastoral letter read in most Catholic Churches throughout the country, calling the government to task for drug-related killings as well as the efforts to reinstate the death penalty in the Philippines.

Malacañang announced Villegas’ appointment during a special mass held in Davao City on Sunday.

In appointing Villegas, Duterte said that “while the Philippine Constitution provides for the separation of Church and State, we might as well include the Church leadership in our team since they like to meddle in government affairs anyway.”Besides, it’s the Catholic thing to do,” the president added.