Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte has invited VP Leni Robredo to dinner and the latter has accepted.
Here is the conversation that could transpire between the two highest officials of the land:
Duterte: Welcome to Malacañang, Ma’am. Welcome to the house of the people.
Robredo: I am honored to be invited to the house of the laylayan (outskirts).
Duterte: Huwag na tayong magpaligoy-ligoy pa (Let’s not beat around the bush). What is it that you have against me?
Robredo: What do you mean po, Sir?
Duterte: Everyday, you put out a statement criticizing my administration. You even sent a video to the United Nations claiming that 7,000 Filipinos have been killed in my war on drugs?
Robredo: Sir, binabasa ko lang naman yung mga sinusulat ni Georgina Hernandez. Wala ho akong alam sa mga nangyayari outside of the laylayan (Sir, I simply read whatever is written by Georgina Hernandez. I have no clue about what’s going on outside of the laylayan.)
Duterte: You know, I was elected by 16 million people and more than 80 percent of Filipinos support me and my administration. I have a job to do and I may not even finish my 6-year term…
Robredo: Sir, that’s why I am practicing already so that in case you will no longer be able to perform your duties, then I will be prepared to take over.
Duterte: Ano ito, Miss Universe Pageant, the first runner-up will take over? (What is this, Miss Universe)
Robredo: Sir, according to my sources, you are suffering from cancer.
Duterte: Who’s your source, Georgina Hernandez?
Robredo: No sir. Jim Paredes, Cynthia Patag and Leah Navarro — very reliable sources.
Duterte: What do you know about being president?
Robredo: Nothing, sir. But don’t worry, I have a very capable team that will run the government once I become president.
Duterte: Like who?
Robredo: Sir, pasensiya na ho (my apologies), I am not at liberty to say.
Duterte: May pa-liberty liberty ka pa (what liberty are you talking about), I know you’re talking about P, R, and Senators T, D and H. And I know you have financial backing from LN-L.
Robredo: Wow, bilib ako sa inyo, sir (you impress me). Now I know why you were elected and not R, and now I also know why almost 9 in 10 Filipinos support you.
Duterte: P*tang In*, it’s only now that you realize that? Puro ka kasi Georgina eh (you keep on leaning on Georgina.)
Robredo: Sir, pardon me, but I’m getting hungry. What’s on the menu? Lugaw? (rice porridge)
Duterte: No. Ginisang munggo (sautéed mongo beans)
Robredo: Oh, okay. That’s fine. That’s also food for the laylayan.