RUSSIA’S CRACKDOWN ON TRANSSEXUAL MOTORISTS AND OTHER INDIVIDUALS WITH ‘MENTAL DISORDERS’

Folsom Street Fair, left, and Carmen Carrera, right
Folsom Street Fair, left, and transgender reality TV personality Carmen Carrera, right

MOSCOW, Russia (The Adobo Chronicles) – Beginning this year, the state of California started issuing driver’s licenses to undocumented immigrants.  In Russia, the government started taking driver’s licenses away from transsexual and transgender motorists.

The Moscow government believes that transsexual and transgender people have mental disorders and should not be allowed to drive because they cause too many accidents.

In addition, Fetishism, exhibitionism and voyeurism are also included as “mental disorders” now barring people from driving.

In San Francisco, members of the transgender community, the leather community, BDSMs, exhibitionists, voyeurs and others who identify with certain fetishes — in short, those who attend the annual Folsom Street Fair — have vowed to boycott travel to Russia and promised to refrain from buying goods and services that have the Russian label on them.

This is not the first Russian boycott in San Francisco.  In 2013, when the Putin Government made “promoting non-traditional lifestyles” illegal, many gay bars in San Francisco and elsewhere boycotted Russian vodka.  That boycott quickly fizzled out mostly because the boycotted vodka that is sold in the West, Stoli, is made in Latvia, not Russia.

Mikhail Strakhov, a Russian psychiatric expert, told the BBC that the definition of “mental disorders” was too vague and some disorders would not affect a person’s ability to drive a car safely.

However, a Putin spokesperson said that transsexuals and transgenders cannot concentrate on their driving because their eyes are constantly wandering, looking out for cute Russian guys or gals on the road.  He added that exhibitionists can distract other drivers, while those with fetishes are always dreaming about their previous or next encounters. “The roads are just not safe if we allow these people to drive cars,” the spokesperson said.

ADULT DIAPERS IN SHORT SUPPLY AT WALMART, COSTCO AND OTHER U.S. OUTLETS

Philippine police try on adult diapers for size in preparation for Pope Francis' visit next week
Philippine police try on adult diapers for size in preparation for Pope Francis’ visit next week

When Pope Francis visits the Philippines next week, traffic enforcers won’t let the capital’s streets get gridlocked if they have to answer the call of nature. About 2,000 traffic enforcers who will be on duty during the papal visit will be required to wear adult diapers, the Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) chairman, Francis Tolentino, said.

Tolentino also encouraged people , including priests, nuns, seminarians and the elderly who will wait for hours to see the pope to also wear diapers. He said that there won’t be enough portable toilets for the millions of people expected to see Pope Francis hold an open-air mass at the seaside Rizal Park on 18 January. “If you attend an event that will last for 24 hours, you cannot go around looking for a [portable toilet],” Tolentino said.

Our investigation confirmed that the MMDA purchased all available adult diaper supplies from the big box stores in the U.S. in order to meet the demand during the Pope’s visit.

Filipino Americans were also seen buying the adult diapers in bulk to send via Balikbayan Box (Tax-free shipping boxes) to their relatves planning to participate in the papal visit activities in Manila.

Unconfirmed reports also revealed that Pet stores are seeing a sudden increase in their sales for puppy training wee wee pads. Go figure.

U.S. NAVY DRONE CRASHES IN THE PHILIPPINES, SUSPECTED OF SPYING

droneLUCENA CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – An unmanned drone, believed to belong to the United States Navy, was found in the town of Patnanungan, Quezon Province in the Philippines on Sunday afternoon.  It is suspected to have either malfunctioned or crashed in this tiny island facing the Pacific Ocean.

Both the Philippine military and the U.S. Embassy confirmed the discovery.  The aerial target drone BQM-74E with serial number BQ55079 is now in the custody of Patnanungan police.

Lt. Gen. Gregorio Pio Catapang Jr., Chief of Staff of the Philippine Armed Forces accused the U.S. of spying but did not elaborate on what it was spying about.

However, Admiral Harry B. Harris, Jr., Commander of the U.S. Pacific Fleet, denied that the captured aircraft was a spy plane.  He said when it crashed, the drone was on its way to take aerial photographs of the December 30, 2014 wedding of Philippine film stars Dindong Dantes and Marian Rivera.

Harris admitted being a die-hard fan of the two Filipino celebrities. “I was extremely disappointed that I didn’t get an invitation to the ‘royal wedding’ so the best I could do was to send an unmanned aircraft to capture some of the photoghraphic moments of their union,” Harris said.

High definition movie cameras were found inside the captured drone.