THREE-YEAR-OLD YOUTUBE SENSATION DEMANDS $50,000 TO APPEAR ON THE ELLEN SHOW

Mateo arguing with mom Linda
Mateo arguing with mom Linda

San Jose, California – Chances are you have seen the YouTube video of three-year-old Matthew (Mateo) Beltran of San Jose, California, arguing with his mom Linda about how he should be allowed to have cupcakes for dinner.

The video went viral, generating more than two million hits and counting. TV host Ellen DeGeneres featured the video on her show and invited Mateo and Linda to be guests on her show.

Mateo likes to argue, his mom said. “When I told him Ellen wants to invite us to her show, he argued with me as usual. This time it wasn’t about cupcakes, but about money.” Mateo wanted Ellen to pay up for his appearance on the show. “We need to charge Ellen $50,000,” Mateo said.

When Linda told Mateo that “this isn’t about money,” Mateo argued: “But it is Linda, it is! Listen, Linda, education is getting to be more and more expensive. I don’t want to be stuck with paying huge educational loans when I grow up.”

Linda lost this argument, and both she and Mateo are awaiting word from Ellen.

Here’s the YouTube video that went viral.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF TWO FILIPINO WOMEN

Arroyo, left, and Napoles
Arroyo, left, and Napoles

Manila, Philippines – It’s like a story out of Hollywood. Like “The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button” starring Brad Pitt.  Only more serious. And more complicated.

The cast of characters: Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, former president of the Philippines and currently a member of the House of Representatives, accused of plunder and election fraud; and Janet Lim-Napoles, businesswoman, accused of masterminding the pork barrel scam that siphoned 10 Billion pesos of taxpayer money into fake nongovernmental organizations (NGOs) and the pockets of politicians.  Both had petitioned for bail and both were denied.

Arroyo is under hospital arrest in a government hospital in Manila while Napoles is detained in a high-security bungalow in Santa Rosa, Laguna, just south of Manila.

Jealousy ensues. Arroyo complains that she has been denied furlough for her birthday to be at her home in Pampanga while Napoles is living with special treatment in a bungalow. Napoles envies Arroyo because the latter is in a hospital. Napoles’s previous request to be in a hospital has been denied.

Enter Miriam Defensor-Santiago, feisty member of the Philippine Senate.  She demands that Napoles be billed 150,000 pesos per month as reimbursement of taxpayer money being spent for her  bungalow arrest and double security measures.

Enter the lawyers for Arroyo who demand that the government pay not only for her stay and food at the hospital but also all of her medical and treatment expenses.

Finally, enter Senator Vicente ‘Tito’ Sotto who proposes that both women become roommates at the bungalow in Santa Rosa. “Equal treatment for equal evil deeds,” Sotto says.

And who’s footing the bill? Sotto says that both crimes the women are charged with involve misuse and, presumably hoarding of stacks and stacks of money. Arroyo and Napoles should have no problem paying for their detention, even if it means for life.

Stay tuned for the next chapter of this curious case indeed.

J. LO OBJECTIFIES PUPPIES IN NEW MUSIC VIDEO

photoHollywood, California – The 44-year-old Jennifer Lopez premiered her new music video during Thursday’s American Idol.  The clip features throwbacks of the diva’s most famous looks, including her On the 6 album artwork and the infamous Versace dress she wore to the Grammys in 2000.

The video begins with Lopez and her two girlfriends discussing with the director how the video should be filmed, and where.  Suggestions ranged from a carnival to a waterpark, with half-naked ladies.  Lopez and her pals exclaimed almost in unison: “Why do men always objectify women in every single video? Why can’t we for once be the objectifiers?”

And so the rest is history.

The final video features Lopez playing around with a litter of naked  puppies loaned to the film crew by an unnamed dog breeder in Hollywood.

Soon after it aired, the music video shot up to No. 1 in the video music charts.  The song’s title is “I Luh Ya Papi.”