Monthly Archives: November 2014

Technology, The Media

AFTER FAILING TO BREAK THE INTERNET, KIM KARDASHIAN ENTERS REHAB

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imageNew York, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) – Attention-deprived Kim Kardashian wanted to break the Internet and claim the record for the most viewed photograph ever posted online. So she decided to pose nude on the cover of the Internet magazine, Paper.

The photo showing her enormous oiled posterior did get a lot of attention, but it was not enough to break the record set by Miley Cyrus’ twerking during the last video music awards.

Sources close to Kardashian confirmed that she was very depressed about not accomplishing her goal that she developed a severe panic disorder. It didn’t help that she went into two full days of binge drinking.

Her brother Rob Kardashian convinced her to enter into rehab and she took his advice, despite objections from both her husband Kanye West and ex-husband Kris Humphries.

The public will not be hearing from Kim for at least six months. Netizens were ecstatic about the news.

Music, Religion, Travel

POPE FRANCIS CHOOSES CHARICE TO SING DURING HIS PUBLIC APPEARANCES IN THE PHILIPPINES

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Charice
Charice

The Vatican, Italy (The Adobo Chronicles) – Unknown to many, Pope Francis has a very peculiar taste when it comes to music, and he has no problem making his preferences known even if it is frowned upon by The Vatican’s conservative Curia.

Just this week, Pope Francis selected punk singer Patti Smith to play at this year’s Vatican Christmas Concert in Rome next month. Smith’s booking has evoked a mixed response from Christian groups, with the Catholic organisation Portosalvo apparently describing the decision as “blasphemous”, following the singer’s 1975 song ‘Gloria’, which famously featured the lines: “Jesus died for somebody’s sins, but not mine.”

Today, the Pope announced that he has chosen Filipino singer Charice to sing ‘The Prayer’ at all his scheduled public appearances in Manila and Tacloban.  The pontiff is scheduled to visit the Philippines  January 15-19 next year.

The Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines  (CBCP) is not happy about the Pope’s choice. Charice has come out recently as a lesbian and the Filipino bishops would rather have someone else sing for the Pope  – heterosexual singers like Lea Salonga or born-again Christian Kuh Ledesma.

The Vatican, however, said that the Pope is just being consistent with his earlier pronouncement that  gay men and women are also God’s children and that he is not in a position to judge them. “The Pope’s selection of Charice reflects that pronouncement, ” The Vatican said.

International, Language, Religion, Travel

POPE FRANCIS WILL ADDRESS FILIPINOS IN TAGALOG DURING VISIT TO THE PHILIPPINES

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imageThe Vatican, Italy (The Adobo Chronicles) – Filipino Church leaders preparing for Pope Francis’ visit to the Philippines in January have announced that the head of the Roman Catholic Church will speak in English during his speeches and meetings with the Filipino people. This, despite the fact that the Argentinian pontiff is not as comfortable with English as he is in Latin and Spanish.

Today, however, The Vatican once again surprised many who are closely watching the Pope’s pronouncements and activities. It was revealed that Francis has instead chosen to speak in Tagalog while visiting the Philippines. He is currently taking Tagalog lessons from a private coach in Rome.

Tagalog (Pilipino) is the national language of the Philippines. It draws on many Spanish words (The Philippines was under Spanish rule for many centuries before the U.S. brought Hollywood into the country).

Pope Francis said that so far, learning Tagalog has been a breeze, saying that in fact, he didn’t have to re-learn many words and phrases which have the same meaning in both Tagalog and Spanish, like ‘Padre’ (father), ‘relihiyon’ (religion), ‘krus’ (cross), and ‘Espirito Santo’ (Holy Spirit).

Perhaps the only phrase the Pope will not get quite right is ‘noche buena’ which douesn’t mean ‘a good night’ in Tagalog. Rather it means ‘midnight feast.’ As in food.