Monthly Archives: November 2014

Law Enforcement, Politics, Religion, Technology

PHILIPPINES: MOVE OVER PORK BARREL, HERE COMES MISTRESSGATE

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imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – There’s a new scandal brewing in the Philippines. It’s called Mistressgate (you know, like Watergate). The pork barrel scandal was so yesterday!

The scandal revolves around a dating service site on the Internet involving married people. It’s called Ashley Madison, described on its website as “the world’s leading married dating service for discreet encounters.”

Justice Secretary  Leila De Lima, with full backing from the Catholic Church in the Philippines, is considering blocking the site from the Internet in the Philippines, arguing that extra-marital affairs could lead to divorce.

Both extra-marital affairs and divorce are illegal in the country, and is against the Catholic Church’s teachings.

Enter Vice President Jenomar Binay, with the backing of an overwhelming number of male politicians, from senators and congressmen to governors and mayors. “We have to protect freedom of speech and the integrity of the Internet,” Binay said, as he and his fellow politicians vowed to block any move by the Justice Department to ban the married dating site.

Observers say that this is looming as the greatest political and religious comfrontation the Philippines has ever seen because it cuts right through the country’s pervasive yet hush-hush machismo culture.

Most of the politicians backing Binay are known to have mistresses, publicly or privately. Including Binay.

Film and TV, Politics

CNN EVENT: EGYPT’S MUBARAK WILL DEBATE RUPERT MURDOCH OVER ‘EXODUS’ FILM

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Mubarak, left, and Murdoch
Mubarak, left, and Murdoch

Cairo, Egypt (The Adobo Chronicles) – It is being touted as the ‘Debate of the Century,’ and it has nothing to do with a political contest. Rather, it is a debate over an upcoming film, ‘Exodus: Gods and Kings.’

The protagonists: U.S. media mogul Rupert Murdoch, founder, chairman and CEO of News Corporation  and Hosni Mubarak, Egypt’s former longtime ruler who was recently cleared of charges linking him to deaths of hundreds of protesters during a revolt that toppled him in 2011.

The film, which is being distributed by Murdoch’s 20th Century Fox, features Christian Bale as Moses, Aaron Paul as Joshua and Sigourney Weaver as Tuya. The Ridley Scott directed film has taken a hit for its lack of diversity, particularly because the movie is portraying historic people of color.

Murdoch took to Twitter to defend his film, saying, “Since when are Egyptians not white? All I know are.”

Upon reading the tweet, Mubarak responded: “Hello? I am Egyptian and I am not exactly white!”

CNN, which is struggling to maintain its ratings especially after a series of debacles courtesy of  its news anchor Don Lemon, seized the opportunity to schedule a television debate between Mubarak and Murdoch, over the color of Egyptians. Both have agreed and the debate will be scheduled sometime in December, moderated, of course, by Lemom.

International, Politics, The Media

PHILIPPINE PRESIDENT AQUINO NAMED TIME MAGAZINE’S 2014 PERSON OF THE YEAR

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imageNew York, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) – For his constant pronouncements that the Filipino people are his “bosses,” Philippine President NoyNoy Aquino was named this year’s ‘Person of the Year’ by TIME magazine.

Aquino duplicates the feat achieved by his mother, Corazon Aquino, who was TIME’s Person of the Year in 1986.

While TIME has yet to officially announce Aquino’s selection, The Adobo Chronicles was able to obtain this embargoed information from inside sources at WikiLeaks. The information also revealed that Pope Francis was a close second among TIME’s short list for the honor.

“No other world politician has withstood  the kind of criticism and opposition as Aquino,” the information stated, “and he has remained strong and relevant amidst the pork barrel scandal that has rocked his government as well as the natural disasters that have plagued his country in the past year.”  TIME also said that Aquino has maintained his ground despite criticism he suffered by refusing to name multi-awarded actress Nora Aunor to this year’s list of National Artists.

Critics have questioned TIME’s selection, arguing that Aquino is by far the most hated and unpopular of Philippine presidents.

But in a call received today by The Adobo Chronicles, TIME magazine’s managing editor Nancy Gibbs said that WikiLeaks got it all wrong. She said that TIME has not named Aquino ‘Person of the Year.’ Instead, the Philippine president has been named the year’s ‘Persona non grata.’

Well, we’re glad we were able to clear that up. We sincerely regret our error.