Weapons of Mass Destruction | The Adobo Chronicles

Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The United States launched an airstrike Friday against Islamic militants in northern Iraq, just hours after President Barack Obama authorized military action against this same country that was invaded by George W. Bush in 2003.

The Pentagon said two FA-18 fighter-attack planes dropped 500-pound, laser-guided munitions on a mobile artillery place near Irbil, the capital of the Kurdish region.The jets came from the USS George H.W. Bush, an aircraft carrier operating in the Persian Gulf, according to a Defense Department official who spoke on condition of anonymity to discuss sensitive military details.

Speaking to reporters minutes after the airstrike, Obama said the goal of today’s action was “to disarm Iraq of weapons of mass destruction and to free the Iraqi people,” using the exact same words by George W. Bush after the U.S. launched the now infamous “shock and awe” in Baghdad eleven years ago.

On October 21, 2011, Obama announced that all US troops and trainers would leave Iraq by the end of the year, bringing the US mission in Iraq to an end. On December 15, 2011, US Defense Secretary Leon Panetta officially declared the Iraq War over, at a flag lowering ceremony in Baghdad.

“The U.S. has been having withdrawal symptoms since we officially ended the Iraq War three years ago,” Obama said.”We needed something that will keep our troops busy, so we decided to look for weapons of mass destruction which may have been hidden by the late Saddam Hussein in the mountains of Irbil. Besides, we need to keep up with our reputation as world police.”

When asked by a White House reporter what makes him think that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction, Obama replied, “We saw credible evidence of WMDs using Google Maps which we then confirmed when we switched to satellite view using Google Earth.”

Washington, D.C. – It was the search for weapons of mass destruction that prompted the U.S. invasion of Iraq in 2003. It was to become the legacy of the administration of George W. Bush. But neither the ‘shock and awe’ that began the Iraq war nor Bush’s speech on board USS Abraham Lincoln with the sign ‘Mission Accomplished’ emblazoned behind him produced any evidence of WMDs.

Now, it can be revealed that the regime of Saddam Hussein indeed harbored weapons of mass destruction, not hidden anywhere within Iraqi territory, but stashed away on the planet Mars.

The National Aeronautics & Space Administration (NASA) has released photos taken by one of two rovers on the red planet. The photos showed what appears to be artificial light emanating outward from the planet’s surface, and beamed millions of miles from Mars to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California.

Scientists were quick to speculate that intelligent beings exist in Mars. However, a confidential memo from the U.S. Department of Defense confirmed that the light beam was part of the cache of WMDs which it said Iraq sent to the red planet just weeks prior to the U.S. invasion.

Both NASA and DOD are currently determining whether the WMDs were rocketed to Mars in unmanned spaceships or whether there actually are Iraqis now on Mars who are managing and maintaining the weapons.