MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – “Every day, America needs a champion, and I wanna be that champion.” With those words, former First Lady Hillary Clinton officially declared her candidacy in the 2016 U.S. presidential elections.
Inspired by those very same words, Philippines President NoyNoy Aquino — a known chain smoker — officially changed his brand of cigarettes to Champion. Not just any Champion, but Mild Menthol Champion, imported from the United States.
An Aquino spokesperson said that by changing his brand and riding on the popularity of Hillary, the president expects a significant improvement in his approval ratings which have been on the decline lately.
LOS ANGELES, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Speaking to reporters while vacationing in Los Angeles, Filipina megastar Sharon Cuneta revealed plans to leave the Philippines for good and spend her retirement years in America.
Cuneta, who just made a recent comeback on the ABS-CBN television network, blamed the scary and unstable conditions in the Philippines which she said won’t be good for her family’s future.
Not to be outdone, presidential sister and TV host Kris Aquino followed suit, announcing that she, too, would like to permanently leave her showbiz life in the Philippines and retire in Massachusetts, her family’s home state during the self-imposed exile of her dad, the late Senator Benigno Aquino, Jr.
“I’m just sick and tired of being the butt of jokes in the Philippines,” Aquino said, and I am looking forward to a quiet life of retirement in Boston, far from the madding crowd and the glaring spotlight of show business.”
‘I realize that I will not be the Philippines’ queen of all media forever, and I know — especially when my brother is no longer president — that my legions of fans will eventually diminish,” she said.
It seems quite ironic that Aquino made the announcement just days after one of her long-running shows, ‘The Buzz,’ was cancelled by the ABS-CBN network. She indicated to reporters that she has strong feelings that the next show to get the ax is her mainstay show, “Abunda and Aquino Tonight.”
Asked about how she wants to spend her retirement in America, Aquino said, “I’d like to establish several Chowking franchises in the U.S. East Coast,” referring to the Chinese-style Filipino fast food restaurant that’s gaining popularity in America. She already owns one such franchise in Manila.
SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – McDonald’s has all but conceded that it cannot compete with Jollibee in the Philippines. The clown is simply unable to keep up with the popularity of that “fat, stupid happy bee” in the Asian island nation.
But the opposite is true in the U.S.
McDonald’s is outpacing Jollibee in all markets throughout the continental U.S., as well as in Alaska and Hawaii.
As a result, Jollibee has announced it is completely pulling out of the U.S. market.
In the last few years, many have noticed that the Jollibee mascot has become pale and has lost a lot of weight (see photo) due to the declining number of customers and disappointing sales figures.
Jollibee Foods Corporation says it will relocate all of its U.S.-based mascots to the Philippines, where they are expected to recover quickly.
Meanwhile, another Philippines-based fast food restaurant is gaining momentum in the U.S.
Chowking USA is a quick service restaurant from the Philippines with a Chinese-influenced menu. Chowking, its mother brand, is one of the most recognized and well-loved fast food chains in the Philippines. The brand opened its first store in the U.S. in 1995. Back then, the chain catered primarily to Filipino Americans, bringing them iconic menu items from the original Chowking.
Today, Chowking USA serves not just the Filipino community but the local US market as well by providing a delicious and satisfying Chinese fast food experience. It now has 19 locations in 3 states: California, Nevada, and Washington.
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