Tag Archives: Internet

AFTER FAILING TO BREAK THE INTERNET, KIM KARDASHIAN ENTERS REHAB

imageNew York, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) – Attention-deprived Kim Kardashian wanted to break the Internet and claim the record for the most viewed photograph ever posted online. So she decided to pose nude on the cover of the Internet magazine, Paper.

The photo showing her enormous oiled posterior did get a lot of attention, but it was not enough to break the record set by Miley Cyrus’ twerking during the last video music awards.

Sources close to Kardashian confirmed that she was very depressed about not accomplishing her goal that she developed a severe panic disorder. It didn’t help that she went into two full days of binge drinking.

Her brother Rob Kardashian convinced her to enter into rehab and she took his advice, despite objections from both her husband Kanye West and ex-husband Kris Humphries.

The public will not be hearing from Kim for at least six months. Netizens were ecstatic about the news.

FACEBOOK, TWITTER TO ELIMINATE HASHTAGS (#)

A restaurant menu board: hashtag overkill
A restaurant menu board: hashtag overkill

San Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Social media giants Facebook and Twitter jointly announced today that they are eliminating the use of hashtags (#) from all user accounts.

Hashtags are used before words and phrases to expand the reach of tweets and Facebook posts. They are also a way for netizens to determine what’s trending on the Internet.

The announcement came after the U.S. National Association of Schools and Universities (NASU) complained that the extensive use of hashtags is responsible for a decline in grammar efficiency among students, as well as in the national GPA average.

A spokesperson for NASU said that it is time to go back to the good old grammar school and to banish all the technological advances in messaging and communications, especially hashtags and abbreviations like ‘LOL’ and ‘LMAO.’

The Adobo Chronicles learned of the way in which Facebook and Twitter will eliminate hashtags:

Everytime someone types in a hashtag in a tweet or message, a central computer will immediately detect the character and automatically delete it.

There are rumors that Apple and Microsoft are considering eliminating the hashtag sign from their future computer and smart phone keyboards.

PHILIPPINES BANNED FROM MISS UNIVERSE ONLINE VOTING

imageMoscow, Russia – Since the Miss Universe organization first implemented public online voting for Miss Photogenic and “fan favorite,” the Philippine candidate has always been among the top candidates, if not the winner of the special award — thanks to 30 million Filipinos who have Internet access, not to mention multiple email accounts. That’s almost a third of the Philippines’ total population of about 100 million.

The Miss Universe organization knows how passionate Filipinos are when it comes to their beauty queens and that they will do everything they can to ensure their candidate’s victory.  The organization, however, feels that online voting results may not totally reflect the true merits of the competition, equating the results to a  “hometown decision.”

Because of this, the Miss Universe organization announced that the Philippines has been banned from online voting in this year’s pageant to be held November 9 in Moscow, Russia. It said Internet votes emanating from the Philippines will be automatically blocked.

The announcement angered Filipino netizens who felt that the ban would diminish the chances of the Philippine candidate, Ariella Arida, in winning the Miss Photogenic or fan favorite award.

Miss Philippines 2013 Ariella Arida
Miss Philippines 2013 Ariella Arida

Despite the ban, beauty pageant experts and enthusiasts have placed Miss Arida in the initial circle of favorites to win the title, which would potentially give the Philippines its third major beauty title this year, following the victories of Megan Young as Miss World and Johanna Datul as Miss Supranational for 2013.