Honolulu, Hawaii – Waikiki residents and frequent visitors alike were taken by surprise at the announcement that the International Market Place has permanently closed as of January 1, 2014. It is considered the last hold-out among open-air, under-the- banyan-tree places that defined this top-rated tourist destination in Hawaii. It featured small businesses in wooden stalls selling wares from t-shirts, to pearl jewelry to ukuleles. It was a “people’s park” in a sense, where ordinary people shop for inexpensive souvenirs and partake of diverse fast-food menus at its food court. In its place, Saks Fifth Avenue will build a new several storey department store.
Well, it appears this is just the tip of the iceberg. Starbucks has just announced that it is purchasing all of the ABC stores in Waikiki – that means two or three in every block or corner of Waikiki’s major thoroughfares like Kuhio and Kalakaua Avenues. Effective February 1, 2014, all ABC Stores will become Starbucks Coffee Shops. Starbucks has , however, assured everyone that it will add Kona coffee to its regular menu to keep the Aloha spirit in their business. It will also offer spam sushi as part of its breakfast menu, as well as macadamia nuts for its snacks. In place of its iced coffees, Starbucks will offer shaved ice coffees.
Honolulu, Hawaii – A visit to Hawaii is never complete without having a snack or meal of spam sushi. This Japanese cuisine-inspired delicacy is a mainstay in local restaurant menus as well as in the refrigerated sections of every ABC Store.
In the last week, however, spam sushi has all but disappeared in Waikiki and elsewhere in the Hawaiian islands. Even McDonald’s has run out of its spam inventory and scrapped the island breakfast combo of eggs, spam and rice from its menu board.
Investigation conducted by local authorities revealed that there has been some hoarding going on, instigated by a particular group of Hawaii visitors. Pressed by The Adobo Chronicles to identify the “hoarders,” one local official – on condition of anonymity – said: “secret service agents and journalists” accompaning President Barack Obama who is currently vacationing in Hawaii with the first family and first dog, Bo.
Officials are also investigating reports that the shortage is further aggravated by Filipinos going home for the holidays with balikbayan boxes loaded with cans of spam purchased from Costco and other warehouse stores in the islands.
Local merchants have sent urgent messages to Hormel Foods, makers of spam, to airlift several thousand cases of canned spam from its Minnesota headquarters to Hawaii.
Honolulu, Hawaii – The islands of Hawaii are a convenient and strategic place for deposed, disgraced and criminally-charged Philippine politicians when fleeing, or trying to flee, their country. Honolulu became the temporary home of the late Ferdinand Marcos, his wife Imelda and their children when the dictator was forced to leave the Philippines following the historic People’s Power Revolution.
Another former president, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, more popularly referred to as ‘GMA,’ is rumored to be planning an escape to Hawaii’s Big Island. GMA is currently under hospital arrest for criminal charges of plunder and electoral fraud committed while she was president.
GMA’s plan just went poooof!
Hawaii’s mayor Billy Kenoi has signed a bill that bans genetically-engineered crops and plants, better known as GMO. Bill 113 was passed by the Hawaii County Council last November.
Arroyo’s chief of staff delivered the bad news to her at her hospital bed at a government hospital in Manila. The chief of staff did not realize that he had misread the news from Hawaii, thinking that the Big Island had just banned his boss, GMA, from coming to the islands.
Now, the Hawaii County Council picked up the idea. It is now considering a bill to ban GMA, in addition to the already banned GMO.