Tag Archives: Barack Obama

REPUBLICANS FINALLY AGREE TO COMPREHENSIVE IMMIGRATION REFORM

imageWashington, D.C.  ( EXCLUSIVE to The Adobo Chronicles) – Just when immigration advocates, Democrats and even President Barack Obama have all but given up hope for congress to pass a comprehensive immigration reform this year,  Senate and House Republicans have put forward their most favorable proposal yet. It consists of total amnesty for the estimated 11 Million undocumented immigrants living in the U.S. — on one condition.

In an exclusive interview with The Adobo Chronicles, House Speaker John Boehner announced that a draft bill which has the blessing of both Republican senators and representatives, will be introduced in Congress early this week.

Boehner said that the Republicans have finally come to the conclusion that amnesty is the only way to fix the broken immigration system.  He said, however, that in order to make the reform truly comprehensive, it must not only address border security going forward but insure that the law applies to all creatures entering the United States. “This would include killer whales, elephants, lions, tigers and all animal species brought to this country by zoos, theme parks and circuses,” Boehner said.

The Adobo Chronicles obtained a copy of the draft bill which mandates that all these creatures must obtain a work visa if employed for entertainment purposes. They will also be required to obtain health insurance under Obamacare. After 5 years in the U.S., the creatures will be eligible for permanent residency, and susequently, citizenship, after another 5 years.

The White House has declined comment saying that President Obama has yet to see a copy of the draft bill.

See related article: “Undocumented Immigrants With Common American Surnames Will be Given Priority for Legalization.”

OBAMA IS INAUGURAL GUEST ON NEW PRIME-TIME TALK SHOW ON FOX NEWS

Show hosts Bill O'Reilly, left, and Rush Limbaugh.
Show hosts Bill O’Reilly, left, and Rush Limbaugh.

Washington, D.C. – President Barack Obama will be the inaugural guest on a new talk show on Fox News which airs Monday nights at 8pm Eastern. The new show, “Between Two Nerds,” launches on March 24.

The new show was reportedly inspired by the highly successful internet show “Between Two Ferns” hosted by  comedian Zach Galifianakis. President Obama was Galifianakis’ recent guest on the show where the President  brilliantly promoted Obamacare and  healthcare.gov.

Fox News is keeping the topic of the inaugural show under wraps but added that it will not be a comedy show.

The new show is co-hosted by Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh. Fox News declined to say whether or not the show’s title referred to the two hosts.

‘I CAN’T GET ELECTED BECAUSE I’M DUMB,’ MICHELE BACHMANN ADMITS

imagesMinneapolis, Minnesota – Michele Bachmann, representative from Minnesota and a candidate for the 2012 Republican nomination for president, is in the news yet again, this time because of sweeping sexist and racist statements she told reporters regarding the U.S. presidential elections.

Bachmann said that America was not ready for a woman president, alluding to Hillary Clinton who is believed to be the frontrunner for the Democratic nomination for president in 2016.  She also said that Barack Obama was elected president only because white people felt guilty about slavery.

Pressed by reporters on whether she was planning to seek the Republican presidential nomination again in 2016, Bachmann admitted that she can’t get elected because she’s dumb. “I’ve come to this reality for quite some time now,” she told reporters, “so I’m quite fine with giving up the contest in favor of our Republican boys’ club. But what I won’t give up is my title as ‘Queen of the Tea Party.'” She is the founder of the House Tea Party Caucus.

“Just like the Queen of England, Ms. Bachmann likes to be addressed as ‘Your Highness,’ aides told The Adobo Chronicles.