Tag Archives: Aquino

Aquino Government Opens Newest Mega Mall In Manila

Opening day sale at the New Bilibid Prison Mega Mall in Muntinglupa
Opening day sale at the New Bilibid Prison Mega Mall in Muntinglupa

MUNTINGLUPA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – It was like a scene from a Black Friday sale in the U.S., only the setting was in Metro Manila, and it wasn’t even Thanksgiving.

As soon as the mega mall opened, there was a mad rush to purchase hugely discounted sale items — from giant-screen television sets, to expensive jewelry, exercise equipment, alcohol and cigarettes, and even pets.

It was the grand opening of the Aquino administration’s latest showcase of its anti-corruption campaign, ‘Daang Matuwid.’ The venue: the New Bilibid Prison (National Penitentiary).

Presidential spokesperson Edwin Lacierda  told The Adobo Chronicles that if the government can’t lick it, it might as well profit from it, referring to all the smuggled goods that come in and out of the prison cells.

Net profit from the opening day sale will be used to fund the waning presidential campaign of presidential candidate Mar Roxas, Aquino’s anointed successor.

Already, the new mega mall is being hailed as the most beautiful art deco mall in the world — yet another record for the Philippines.



imageMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – An official photograph of Philippine President NoyNoy Aquino shaking hands with Chinese President Xi Jinping has caused a stir in the international diplomatic community.

The photo, taken during a courtesy visit by the Chinese leader to the presidential palace in Manila, shows Aquino with his left hand inside his trousers’ pocket.

Many have even speculated that Aquino was holding on to a bullet — an obvious reference to the laglag bala scheme at the Ninoy Aquino Intrrnational Airport which has dominated the news of late. The scheme involves the ‘planting’ of bullets in bags of unsuspecting airline passengers allegedly by airport personnel for the purpose of extorting money.

The president’s staff have categorically denied the rumors.

Philippine veteran actor extraordinaire Bernardo Bernardo told The Adobo Chronicles he didn’t think there was any bullet inside Aquino’s pocket.  Bernardo was more concerned about the fact that Aquino’s barong tagalog seemed to be crumpled.

Perhaps, Aquino’s housekeeper had the day off?


Jail cells for lease in The Netherlands
Jail cells for lease in The Netherlands

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – President NoyNoy Aquino today announced that the Philippines and Dutch governments have signed an agreement for the lease of some 2,000 jail cells in the Netherlands.

The Netherlands recently announced that it will close eight prisons because of a lack of criminals. The Dutch justice ministry said that declining crime rates in the Netherlands mean that although the country has the capacity for 14,000 prisoners, there are only 12,000 detainees. The decrease is expected to continue, the ministry said.

Aquino said that the lease will help solve his country’s problem of prison overcrowding while ensuring that there will be sufficient jail cells to accommodate the growing number of   political officials being convicted of graft, corruption, plunder and other criminal offenses.  Aquino himself is being charged for violation  of the constitution in connection with the illegal use of funds under the Disbursement Acceleration Program (DAP) and the Priority Development Assistance Fund (PDAF).

Asked how the Philippine government will pay for the lease, Aquino said, “Why, from DAP and PDAF, of course.”