YOGURT AND VODKA WAR AT SOCHI WINTER OLYMPICS

imageSochi, Russia – The United States is sending its largest-ever contigent to a winter Olympics, with 230 athletes competing in Sochi. But there is a bigger story.

When the American Olympians enter the stadium at Friday’s opening ceremony, each will carry an open bottle of Russian vodka. As soon as  they reach the front of the VIP stand, they will pour the vodka into the parade grounds.

The reason? It is to protest the embargo by the Russian government of a shipment of Chobani Greek yogurt which was supposed to be fed to the U.S. athletes while in Sochi. The yogurt shipment is in limbo at a New Jersey airport. The U.S. government has accused the Russians of using this nutritious food as a vehicle to show who’s in charge.

To counter the U.S. public protest, Russian officials have mandated that all American athletes undergo a blood test two hours before their respective scheduled competitions to detect even the slightest trace of vodka in their system. “Intimidation tactics,” one U.S. Olympic official said.

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TEAM FIGURE SKATING DEBUTS IN SOCHI, BACKFIRES ON RUSSIAN ANTI-GAY POLICY

ssiceskatingSochi, Russia – Team figure skating makes its debut at the Winter Olympics on Thursday, one of the events held a day before the opening ceremony. Ten countries will send out one entry in each of the four disciplines: men, women, pairs and ice dance. The nation with the highest total score after the short and long programs wins — suddenly giving figure skaters the chance at two medals at one Winter Games.

It seems like history being made on ice, but at the expense of the Russians.

Vladimir Putin’s government has come under fire for its anti-gay laws prohibiting the public display of homosexuality, and it has resisted all pressure from world governments and sports organizations which initially threatened to boycott the Sochi Winter Olympics because of these homophobic policies.

In a stunning development, six nations participating in the team figure skating competitions are sending same-sex partners as their entries to the pairs competition: Belgium,Canada, Denmark, Spain, Sweden and The Netherlands..  Same-sex marriage in all six countries is legal.

While the Russian government initially protested the decision by what it is calling the “rebel” countries, a spokesperson for President Putin told The Adobo Chronicles that it is too late to make a change in the skating line-up. “It is physically impossible to demand a replacement of the same-sex partner skaters at this point, and Russia will stand to lose millions of dollars if the Thursday competitions are cancelled,” he said.

As a compromise, the Russian government ruled that the pairs competition will not be televised by NBC during its prime-time coverage of the Winter games.  Instead, NBC will air a re-mastered version of the James Bond film, “From Russia With Love.”  Telecast of the team skating competitions will resume after the last same-sex partner skaters have finished with their short and long programs.

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