THE ADOBO CHRONICLES GOES BLACK

imageIN RESPECT AND SOLIDARITY WITH THE THOUSANDS OF FILIPINOS WHO LOST THEIR LIVES AND PROPERTY AS A RESULT OF THE WORST-EVER RECORDED TYPHOON IN HISTORY, THE ADOBO CHRONICLES WILL GO TOTALLY BLACK FOR THIS ENTIRE WEEK. WE WILL BE BACK NEXT WEEK.

In the meantime, 100% of sales of the book version between now and December 2, 2013, will be donated to the Philippine Red Cross for typhoon relief efforts.  We will also match the sales dollar for dollar.

To be eligible for the match, book must be purchased from our web site.

FOR ONCE, this is NOT satire…

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“THOR” GAY VERSION OPENS IN CHINA

Thor the U.S. version, left; Chinese version, right
Thor the U.S. version, left; Chinese version, right

Shanghai, China –  “Thor: The Dark World,” is the latest of an American superhero film based on the comic book character of the same name published by Marvel Comics.  The powerful but arrogant god Thor is cast out of Asgard to live amongst humans in Midgard (Earth), where he soon becomes one of their finest defenders.  In this latest series directed by Alan Taylor, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) must face the enemy and embark on his most perilous and personal journey yet, one that will reunite him with Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) and force him to sacrifice everything to save the earth.

But that is the film’s U.S. version.

An international version, in Chinese with English subtitles, has a slightly different plot.  Jane Foster is the enemy and Thor’s journey reunites him with Loki (Tom Hiddleston), his long-lost romantic interest.  The international version opened to rave reviews in Shanghai, China.  Since it opened last weekend, theaters have seen long lines of fans braving the cold weather and willing to fork out 40 Yuan to be among the first to see the film.

Critics just love the the Chinese version of the character of Loki, the master of illusion. The New York Times says that Loki’s romantic link to Thor could only “help the medicine go down.” Whatever that means.

Meanwhile, the newly-renovated Embarcadero theater in Dan Francisco, which features reclining lounge seats in several of its screening rooms, has reportedly bought the exclusive rights to show the Chinese version in city. “With its juicy gay theme, the film’s international version would definitely be a blockbuster in the gayest city in the world,” a spokesperson for the Embarcadero theater told The Adobo Chronicles.

FDA SEEKS TO PROMOTE HUNGER

imagesWashington, D.C. –  Ah, freedom. You choose to smoke, drink, eat what you want, marry who you choose to, practice your religion (or not), be a Democrat or Republican (or Tea Party pooper).

Ah, capitalism. You are lured into changing your smart phones every six months, get hooked on pay-per-view TV, sold clothing that are meant for models half your waist size,  supersize your combo meal.

Then there’s big brother, reading your emails, tracking your whereabouts, warning against vitamin supplements but licensing drugs with potential fatal side effects, taxing your every purchase and what meager income you earn.

Now, the Food and Drug Administration is waging the biggest war since we first learned to say “war on terror.” The new war is against trans fat — not against transgender people or fat people — but the artery-clogging substance that FDA says is the major cause of heart attacks.

The Food and Drug Administration on Thursday proposed measures that would all but eliminate artificial trans fats from the U.S. food supply. Under the proposal, the agency would declare that partially hydrogenated oils, the source of trans fats, were no longer generally recognized as safe, a legal category that permits the use of salt and caffeine, for example.

That means companies would have to prove scientifically that partially hydrogenated oils are safe to eat, a very high hurdle given that scientific literature overwhelmingly shows the contrary. The Institute of Medicine has concluded that there is no safe level for consumption of artificial trans fats.

A coalition of fast food restaurants, backed by a grassroots organization calling itself  “Leave My Food Plate Alone,” immediately lambasted the FDA proposal, saying that it is really a “war to promote hunger.”

A quick scan of various commercially-available food groups and items by The Adobo Chronicles came up with this partial list containing trans fats:

Cookies, crackers, cakes, muffins, pie crusts, pizza dough, hamburger buns, stick margarine, vegetable shortening, pre-mixed cake mixes, pancake mixes, chocolate drink mixes, fried foods, donuts, French fries, chicken nuggets, hard taco shells, chips, candy, packaged or microwave popcorn , frozen dinners, frozen chicken and noodles, refrigerated crescent rolls, Oreo cookies, Wheat Thins, Triscuits, Fig Newtons, Nilla Wafers, cinnamon rolls, apple pie, hotcakes, pancakes, quarter pounder with cheese. The list goes on…

Will the public soon see lots of empty supermarket shelves and freezers?  Will some companies actually go out of business?  Stay tuned.

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