STATE-WIDE PLASTIC BAN LOOMS IN CALIFORNIA

imageLos Angeles, California – Plastic bags are already banned in many cities and counties in California, but a comprehensive and radical proposal by legislators could make all plastics a thing of the past in this environmentally-conscious sunny state.

The proposal, supported by a bi-partisan group of lawmakers but vehemently opposed by private business, would totally ban all forms of plastic – from grocery and shopping bags to smart phone cases to debit and credit cards.  Yes, you heard that right: debit and credit cards.

State senators have argued that it is not enough to ban single-use or even reusable plastics. “We must also target the source and cause of the demand for these non-biodegradable items,” they said.

“Almost everyone uses debit and credit cards – also known simply as ‘plastics’ – to shop,” the senators pointed out, ” so if plastic cards are also banned, people will stop shopping and there would be no need for plastic bags or goods. It’s a simple case of supply and demand.”

 

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‘PORK BARREL QUEEN’ JANET NAPOLES WILL GET A V.I.P. ROOMMATE AT HER DETENTION CELL

imageLaguna, Philippines – A tale of two women. Former Philippine president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and Janet Lim-Napoles. Both in detention, one in a government hospital in Manila and the other in a special bungalow suite inside a military compound in Santa Rosa, Laguna, south of the Philippine capital.

Arroyo is under hospital arrest for corruption and plunder charges committed while she was president while Napoles is the suspected mastermind of a multi-billion peso pork barrel scam which siphoned taxpayer money into phony non-governmental organizations .

This week, lawmakers aligned with President Noynoy Aquino demanded that both women be transferred to a regular jail to dispel suspicions that they were being given special treatment despite the gravity of the charges against them.

However, for security reasons, Aquino came up with a compromise. Arroyo will be transferred to Napoles’ bungalow in Santa Rosa. In other words, the women will be roommates.

One question remains: which woman will take the bedroom and which will take the couch?

ADOBO CHRONICLES RESPONDS TO LAWSUIT THREAT

imageCampbell, California- Today, The Adobo Chronicles  received a threatening email from someone claiming to be a representative of Rose Fostanes, the Filipina caregiver who won the first season of X Factor Israel . “Ofer” threatened to sue us if we do not “erase” our story on Fostanes’ winning the Israeli Lottery.

Here’s our response:

Dear Ofer,

Thank you for taking the time to read and react to our story about Rose Fostanes winning the Israeli Lottery.

At the outset, please know that we are a fan of Fostanes.  We have followed her path from being a caregiver to becoming the Filipino Susan Boyle. Filipinos the world over are truly proud of her, as are we.

We were pissed when we first learned that Fostanes could not be paid as a performer/singer in Israel because her work permit only allowed her to earn income from being a caregiver.  We rejoiced when the Israeli goverment bent its rules and allowed Fostanes to get paid for her recording contracts and concerts going forward. We even think The Adobo Chronicles had something to do with the Israeli government’s change of heart (okay, that may be giving ourselves too much credit).

You claim to represent Fostanes and threatened to sue us if we do not “erase” our published story. If you are indeed a legitimate representative of Fostanes, we say “bring it on!”

However we have a few requests:

1. Please read up on “satire ,” “parody” and FOI (do you even know what it stands for?)

2. Don’t just read our stories on Fostanes. Read our entire news site, especially the “About” page.  Maybe it will help you chill quite a bit.

3. Lastly, if you will be so kind as to mail us an “eraser” from Office Depot or Staples, we will be so ever appreciative because honestly, we stopped using erasers 20 years ago.

P.S. Have you ever considered joining the Spelling Bee?  Or just install autocorrect on the DOS program on your computer for heavens sake.

Affectionately,

The Adobo Chronicles Editorial Board

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