Category Archives: News Satire

Adobo Chronicles’ Great Survey On Magic 12 Of Stupid Dilawan

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MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Mania Bureau) – Forget about the Pulse Asia Survey on the 2019 ‘Senatoriables.”  Here comes the survey of the decade.

If we were to come up with the ‘Magic 12’ of the most stupid Dilawan, who would you want included in this prestigious list?

Vote in our poll and let your voice be heard.

(You can vote for as many names as you wish.  You can also add names of those not on our list.)

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Stragolgate: Lacierda Says ‘Sorry,’ Robles Will Make Sumbong

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Unholy Trinity: Lacierda, Robles, Sasot

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Former PNoy Spokesperson Edwin Lacierda and self-proclaimed investigative journalist Raïssa Robles have made fun of Rodrigo Duterte’s Visayan accent, particularly the President’s mention of the word ‘stragol’ (struggle) in a recent public statement.

Lacierda has since apologized, claiming it was not his intention to mock the Visayan dialect while admitting it was culturally insensitive.

But Robles is not throwing in the towel.  On the contrary, she plans to write to the Dutch Government and ask that Netherlands-based Sass Rogando Sasot be deported.

It all started when Sasot posted a ‘riddle’ that ridiculed Robles for making fun of Duterte’s accent. The post consisted of four witty lines that all rhymed with ‘’stragol.’

That didn’t sit well with Robles who responded directly to Sasot, saying that she will be writing to the Dutch and Duchess of The Netherlands — sorry, we meant to say Dutch Embassy — to warn them that the blogger is spreading fake news.D0A7A6C7-95F5-49EA-B8A1-28D6CE0F15D2

Suddenly, the investigative journalist, author of a now irrelevant book on the Marcos Martial Law, and newbie public speaker with a thick English accent has turned to her childlike instinct to make sumbong to higher authorities whom she hopes would side with her frailties as a woman.

 

 

Adobo Chronicles, Rappler Barred From Live Coverage Of Monday’s Senate Hearing On 2016 Electoral Fraud

0CC61140-2D4A-4EDE-92EC-37A777C60B00.jpegMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Mainstream media companies are expected to show up in full force on Monday when the Senate hearing on the alleged 2016 Electoral Fraud continues.

The last hearing, in which Atty. Glenn Chong questioned the Comelec and Smartmatic’s electronic transmissions a day before the actual May 9, 2016 elections, was not covered live by many Mainstream news outlets.

However, The Adobo Chronicles and Rappler will be barred from covering Monday’s hearing.

The Senate Secretariat explained the decision:

Adobo Chronicles is a satire news site while Rappler is a fake news site.”

We at The Adobo Chronicles wholeheartedly accept the Senate decision.