Category Archives: News Satire

The Adobo Chronicles’ Matrix

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Robredo To Step Down As VP If None Of The Otso Diretso Makes It To Magic 12?

562623B3-0A69-4EDF-8C64-3F9449E63C43QUEZON CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Quezon City Bureau) – After all, Leni Robredo has some delicadeza left in her. She is promising to vacate her position as Vice President if none of the Otso Diretso Senatorial candidates makes it to the top 12 in Monday’s Philippine midterm elections.

While this may be wishful thinking on the part of many Filipinos, they are hoping that Robredo will be woman enough to take full responsibility for a possible zero win for the eight Opposition candidates.  She has taken on the responsibility of “leading the Opposition,” but a zero win for the Otso would mean a failure of that leadership.

Already,  Otso has scored zero in as far as the endorsement by the block-voting Iglesia Ni Cristo is concerned. None in the Opposition slate made it to the INC endorsement. Is this a foreboding of what will happen on May 13?

Stay tuned!

 

 

 

 

In Anticipation Of The Revocation Of Its Media License, Rappler Proposes To Buy Adobo Chronicles

3b2ffaa7-b486-4b72-984f-89787c9df8a7MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Now that the Court of Appeals has all but denied Rappler’s petition to reconsider the Securities and Exchange Commission’s earlier ruling revoking its media license for violation of the Constitution, CEO Maria Ressa now wants to buy the rights to The Adobo Chronicles.

Adobo Chronicles, while registered in the U.S., is 100% Filipino owned.

”My business venture with Rappler is in survival mode, and the only way to keep my business operating is to invest in a 100% Filipino-owned company,” Ressa said.

”Besides, Adobo Chronicles fits well into what Rappler has been all about in the years of its existence : propagating biased, fake, and  unbelievable news,” she added,

Ressa is offering $10 Million to buy out the Chronicles.

No word yet from the Adobo Chronicles publisher.