Category Archives: Technology

Business, Human Interest, International, Science and Environment, Technology

OBAMA’S CARBON INITIATIVE IS AT LEAST 30 YEARS LATE, CRITICS SAY

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imageWashington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The Obama administration on Monday announced one of the strongest actions ever taken by the United States government to fight climate change, a proposed Environmental Protection Agency regulation to cut carbon pollution from the nation’s power plants 30 percent from 2005 levels by 2030.

While the announcement is unprecedented, many believe it is at least 3o years late.  With the onset of personal computer technology in the 1980’s, people had long stopped using typewriters and carbon paper to make duplicate copies. In addition, carbonless paper is now widely used in everyday tasks like making duplicates when manually writing checks from one’s bank checkbook.

“What is there to cut when carbons disappeared decades ago, ” asked House Speaker John Boehner. He added: “And since Obama’s plan is to cut carbon pollution by 2030, that’s adding another 16 years to the lateness of this initiative.”

At least, Boehner got his math correct, environmental activists said.

 

Business, International, Sports, Technology, The Media

STEVE BALLMER INCREASES PURCHASE PRICE FOR CLIPPERS TO 3 BILLION DOLLARS

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Steve Ballmer
Steve Ballmer

Seattle, Washington (The Adobo Chronicles) – The news that former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer has offered to buy the Los Angeles Clippers for Two Billion dollars hasn’t sinked in yet for most people, but already, the Seattle-based billionnaire has  increased his offer to Three Billion.

Ballmer’s new offer came minutes after former Clippers owner Donald Sterling announced he was suing the National Basketball Association (NBA) for One Billion dollars. In the complaint obtained by The Los Angeles Times, Sterling alleged the NBA committed antitrust violations, breached contracts and denied his constitutional rights.

This entire circus was promptd by Sterling’s much-publicized racist comments made to his girlfriend, V. Stiviano, regarding her association with black people.

In speaking with The Adobo Chronicles, Ballmer said, “I’m sick and tired of this lawsuit sh*t. If Sterling wants to sue for One Billions Dollars, I’ll give him One Billion Dollars so he can move on and go into retirement in Alaska or wherever he feels comfortable living in.”

“So today, I am announcing that I am increasing my purchase price for the Clippers to Theee Billion, and Sterling can keep the One Billion and just shut the f*ck up,” Ballmer added.

Controversy solved!

Disclaimer: Ballmer’s photo shows him raising five fingers, but he is only committing to Three Billion.

 

Business, Human Interest, International, Technology

FARMVILLE IS BACK WITH A VENGEANCE, SEEKS TO CRUSH CANDY CRUSH

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farmvilleSan Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – FarmVille is poised to make a huge comeback after it lost its number one spot in social network games to Candy Crush.

FarmVille is a farming simulation social network game developed by San Francisco-based Zynga in 2009.  Its gameplay involves various aspects of farm management such as plowing land, planting, growing, and harvesting crops, harvesting trees and raising livestock.

Acknowledging that just like traditional agriculture, FarmVille has become antiquated, Zynga said it was time for the popular game to keep up with modern technology, advanced business practices and raging environmental issues. Zynga said that it will start rolling out FarmVille 3 on June 1.

Asked by The Adobo Chronicles what is new with FarmVille 3, a spokesperson for Zynga said that instead of using outdated farm tools and methods, the all-new FarmVille will utilize tractors, generators, high-tech silos, chemical fertilizers, GMOs, greenhouses, computerized irrigation systems, video surveillance systems to watch over livestock, among other things.

“We don’t want to give away everything,” the spokesperson said, “our customers should just check it out for themselves.”

Watch out Candy Crush. FarmVille is out to get you!