Category Archives: Politics

International, Politics, Sports

MANNY PACQUIAO IS AMONG TOP FIVE FILIPINO CONGRESSMEN

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Manny ‘Pacman’ Pacquiao

Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – World boxing champion Manny Pacquiao was honored by his fellow lawmakers today for being among the top five Filipino Congressmen.  Pacquiao is an elected member of the House of Representatives, representing his native Saranggani province.

House Speaker Sonny Belmonte praised Pacquiao, who is also a playing coach of the Kia Sorrentos basketball team in the country’s Professional Basketball Association (local counterpart of the NBA in the U.S.), for being in the top 5 leading congressmen – absentee congressmen, that is. The boxer ranked No. 5.  Former President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo who remains in hospital arrest in connection with  plunder charges filed against her, is in the No. 1 spot.

Belmonte said that Pacquiao has attended 31 and missed 38 sessions in his current congressional term. “He is to be commended for his attendance record given his very busy schedule as a professional boxer and basketball playing coach. He truly brings great honor to our country,” Belmonte added.

Pacquiao is being investigated by the Philippines’ Bureau of Internal Revenue (BIR) for tax evasion in connection with his earnings from his championship boxing fights in the U.S., to which he has said, “this is purely a witch hunt by BIR Commissional Kim Henares who seems to enjoy going after celebrities like me.”

Arts, International, Politics

PHILIPPINES BREAKS TWO GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS!

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imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – In one weekend, the Philippines broke two Guinness World Records, bringing both prestige and jubilation to this country of 100 Million people.

First, the Central Philippines City of Cebu broke the current Guinness record for the largest single Zumba class, eclipsing the current record of 6,671 held by India.  Cebu’s number reached a total of 8,232 participants.

Even before this rare distinction could sink in among the Filipinos, a Guinness World Records Adjudicator announced a second world record for the Philippines . The announcement was made from the Guinness headquarters in London that the Philippines is now home to the largest pork barrel in the world.

The Guinness announcement said that pork barrel — which refers to the use of taxpayer funds to pay for local politicians’ pet projects in their respective jurisdictions or localities – is common in almost all governments. However, the Philippines holds the record of the largest amount of pork barrel funds illegally expended by politicians anywhere in the world. Guinness added that the Philippine pork barrel record is unique because it involves almost all sectors of government — from the Office of the President to the Senate and House of Representatives to the Supreme Court and local governors and mayors. Even the Philippine Catholic Church has been implicated or benefited from the pork barrel scandal.

Guinness said that it would be very difficult for other countries to surpass the Philippine record.

Upon  hearing of the news, President NoyNoy Aquino convened his cabinet for a celebratory gathering in Malacañang, the presidential palace, where San Miguel beer and the favorite sisig appetizer flowed all night.

Health & Medicine, Politics

OBAMA TAPS LAWYER TO SOLVE THE EBOLA CRISIS IN THE U.S.

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Klain
Klain

Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – President Barack Obama has appointed a lawyer to help solve the impending Ebola crisis in the United States.

Appointed Ebola Czar was Ron Klain, a former chief of staff to both Vice President Joe Biden and former Vice President Al Gore.  He is now the president of Case Holdings and serves as the general counsel for Revolution, an investment organization.

Klain will report directly to White House National Security Adviser Susan Rice and the president’s Homeland Security Adviser Lisa Monaco. He is tasked with protecting Americans from the disease.

While there is not a single American who has died from Ebola, The White House said that the country needed the expertise of a lawyer to counter the misinformation and panic-mongering that have gripped the nation.  Politicians have made the non-existent Ebola crisis a battle cry going into the mid-term elections, while media companies have enjoyed a huge jump in their ratings as a result of their misinformed coverage of Ebola in the U.S.

“Only a lawyer can effectively do the job of a czar, because it involves the creation of fictional and scary scenarios that lawyers do so well in the courtroom,” The White House said.

Asked by reporters why Obama did not appoint a medical doctor to the position, White House officials said:  “We consider the crisis more rhetorical and political –rather than medical — hence the need for a lawyer.”

Klain was spotted at a tailoring shop in Washington, D.C., being fitted for a hazmat suit.