Category Archives: Law Enforcement

Government, Health & Medicine, Law Enforcement, Tourism

PHILIPPINE TOWN TOTALLY BANS URINATING

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Bottom half of the sign reads, “It is prohibited to urinate anywhere!”

TARLAC, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – If you happen to be a resident of the town Camiling, Tarlac province (home province of Philippine President Aquino’s family) and you feel like answering the call of nature, then you are out of luck . You have to drive to the next town to urinate.

A new municipal ordinance has just been passed prohibiting urinating — anywhere — in Camiling. Not in parks, not in street corners, not anywhere public or private. Yes, not even in the comfort of your own home.

Violation of the ordinance carries with it a fine of 500 Pesos ( about $11).

Camiling, it seems, is going for a Guinness Record as the one and only urine-free place in the world.

If you think this story is a hoax, look closely.  We’ve got the public notice to prove the new law soes exist.  (If you don’t speak or understand Tagalog, ask your Filipino co-worker or neighbor for a translation!)

2015 is “Visit the Philippines” Year! Oh what fun!

Government, Law Enforcement, Politics, Social Media

MOTORCYCLE-RIDING, GUN-TOTING PHILIPPINE MAYOR PROMISES TO BAN FACEBOOK IF ELECTED PRESIDENT

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Duterte, left, and Zuckerberg
Duterte, left, and Zuckerberg

DAVAO CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Many Filipinos are urging him to run for president in 2016, despite his reputation as a gun-toting mayor who has no problem with extra-judicial killings of criminals and drug traffickers.  He is Rodrigo Duterte, mayor of Davao, one of the major cities in the Philippines’ Mindanao island.

Although he has repeatedly said in public that he has no intention of running for higher public office, Duterte went on record that if he becomes president, he will abolish Congress and form a revolutionary government to totally rid the government of corruption.

He has also promised to bring back high educational standards by banning Facebook and mandating instead that young people use Google.

“I am sick and tired of our youth using Facebook as their primary news source while wasting hours and hours posting and commenting on insignificant events in their already empty lives,” Duterte said. “They should instead use Google to enrich their knowledge about history, geography and science while keeping abreast on world developments that have a direct impact on our country,” he added.

Duterte criticized Mark Zuckerberg for  the latter’s effort to provide free Facebook access in the Philippines.  At the same time, he said he would encourage Google to set up operations in the Philippines, including the inclusion of Google Search in all school curricula, as a way to bring about a truly informed and intelligent citizenry.

Fashion, Law Enforcement

ENGLAND TOWN BANS MANKINIS

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imageLONDON, England (The Adobo Chronicles) – There ain’t no party like a mankini party, but the mankini parties… must be stopped, and a town in Cornwall, England did just that.

Newquay has outlawed the male bathing suits popularized by Borat, and has since noticed a significant improvement in the town’s economy. Tourists who have stayed away from the town because they were  offended by the manikinis are now back in droves.

Many Brits, however, are crying ‘foul,’ and  have accused the town of male bias. “The mankini is not that much more offensive than the female bikinis,” they said. “The private parts that are supposed to be covered are covered, just like with female bikinis, so we don’t understand what the big deal is,” they added.

They, however, failed to address the posterior end of the equation.