MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Critics of Rodrigo Duterte have accused the President’s administration of always being late in responding to the coronavirus pandemic, whether it be the procurement of Covid-19 vaccines or identifying new variants of the deadly virus.
But thanks to Filipino scientists, the Duterte administration can claim the Philippines to be the first among all nations to discover a new strain of the cockroach.
Presidential Spokesperson Harry Roque in today’s press briefing unveiled the first photo of the newly-discovered cockroach variant. Many believe that the mutation was most likely inspired by the Filipinos’ penchant for designer bags, particularly the Gucci brand.
Vice President Leni Robredo, who herself fancies Gucci and other designer brands, has yet to issue a statement on the new discovery.
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – U.S.-based Amazon and Philippine-based Lazada are both reporting a sharp increase in their online sales of women’s pantsuit just hours after Vice President-elect Kamala Harris appeared at a Democratic victory event in Delaware today. Harris donned a white pantsuit.
Many will recall that former First Lady and 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was also known for the pantsuits she wore at public events.
Both Amazon and Lazada told The Adobo Chronicles that their pantsuits, especially the white colored ones, are currently on back order. Neither could confirm when the pantsuit stocks will be back to normal.
BAGUIO CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Baguio Bureau) –It’s been over 40 days since the government put in place an Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ) throughout the entire island of Luzon.
You’ve scrubbed all your pots and pans, your toilet is squeaky clean, your closet has been organized in a way it has never been before in your entire life. So what is left to do to while away the remaining hours and days of your home confinement?
In the interest of public service, The Adobo Chronicles is sharing this to-do list put together by our home and social experts to keep you from losing your otherwise elite composure, or your sanity during this period of ECQ:
Remember your collection of torn denim pants? They’ll probably go out of fashion when this Covid-19 crisis is over. Patch them all up. It’ll lessen entry points for the virus.
While you’re at it, sew up all the holes in your pairs of socks.
Time to clean up the molds on your collection of shoes!
You may have missed cleaning the Last Supper painting and giant spoon and fork woodcarving hanging on your wall. Dust them up!
You’ve been receiving tons of Facebook friend request lately, haven’t you? Accept them all — common friend or no common friend — then go back and unfriend them one by one. Then repeat.
It’s time to delete all those embarrassing photos of yourself that you have posted on your Facebook page.
Now is a good time to check the expiry dates of the cans and cans of sardines, pork and beans, and soups in your cupboard. And don’t forget the cartons of orange juice and milk in your fridge!
Haven’t you had enough collection of empty cardboard and styrofoam boxes you saved from your takeout meals? You know what to do. And don’t forget your collection of used plastic spoons and forks.
You’ve had the plastic covering on your couch and dining chairs long enough. Discard them! They may be harboring unwanted viruses and bacteria!
How many jars of spare coins do you have sitting on top of your credenza? Roll them up by denomination and give them to the homeless. They especially need them in this time of crisis.
When was the last time you gave your Shih Tzu a bath?
Do you have other suggested activities? Let us know in the comments section. We’re in this together. We heal as one!