Category Archives: International

DOCTORS: POPE FRANCIS NOW SELFITIS-FREE

imageTHE VATICAN, Italy (The Adobo Chronicles) – Soon after Pope Francis’ first-ever selfie was posted on The Vatican’s Instagram account, a team of Italian doctors comfirmed that the leader of the Roman Catholic Church indeed caught the selfitis bug.

The medical team immediately prescribed a high dosage of antibiotics to the Pontiff, and enrolled him in a Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) class in Rome.

Today, the doctors announced that the medication and therapy worked very well. Pope Francis is now selfitis-free.

Learn more about selfitis, a mental disorder,  as defined by the American Psychiatric Association.

REPUBLICANS WANT LEA SALONGA AND BRAD KANE BANNED FROM U.S.

Kane, left, and Salonga
Kane, left, and Salonga

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) –  Almost one-third of Republican primary voters would support bombing the fictional kingdom of Agrabah, according to a report released by Public Policy Polling on Friday.

More than 530 Republican primary voters were polled this week on their support for Republican candidates and foreign policy issues including banning Muslims from entering the U.S., Japanese internment camps from the second world war and bombing Agrabah, the kingdom from Disney’s animated classic, Aladdin.

Of those who voted in favor of bombing the Aladdin Kingdom, 75 percent favored banning singers Lea Salonga and Brad Kane from the country (despite the fact that Kane is American) , who provided the voices behind “A Whole New World,” the theme song from Aladdin.

‘It is important not only to keep out Muslims from entering the U.S. but also to make sure that those who support them and promote their cause not be allowed in this country,’ one Republican poll respondent said.

MISS UNIVERSE MAKES HISTORY WITH FIRST TRANSGENDER CONTESTANT

imageLAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) – This year’s Miss Universe pageant made history by having a transgender contestant in the person of Miss Austria.

The closest Miss Universe ever got to having a transgender contestant was when Jenna Talackova waged a legal battle to be allowed to compete in the Miss Universe Canada pageant in 2012, after being initially disqualified for being a transgender woman.  She failed to win the Miss Canada title.

During the national costume competition today, Miss Austria Amina Dagi forgot to shave her moustache.

Nevertheless, the crowd at the Planet Hollywood Resort in Las Vegas loved it.  She has a good chance of being named a finalist, pageant experts say.

The Miss Universe finals will be held this Sunday.