Category Archives: Health & Medicine

Health & Medicine, International, Politics

Michele Bachmann Escapes From St. Peter Mental Facility, Issues Stinging Statement On Cuba, ISIS

March 25, 2016 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

ST. PETER, Minnesota (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) – State health officials today confirmed earlier reports that former Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann has escaped from the maximum security mental hospital in St. Peter.

The former Republican presidential candidate and founder of the House Tea Party Caucus voluntarily checked in at the facility immediately after her congressional term expired in 2015 and hasn’t been heard of from ever since.

Just hours after her escape, she wrote a column for the right-wing site of crazy, World Net Daily, titled, “Obama Enjoys Cuba While Civilization Burns,” where she claimed the president humiliated America by meeting with Castro.

“This week, a United States president was humiliated on the world’s stage by an aging, insulting Communist dictator. Our feckless U.S. president appeared unfazed by the message he portrayed of American incompetence and historic irrelevance. In fact, the president appeared pleased with himself and seemed to revel in his infallible cleverness,” she wrote.

She went on to say that ISIS attacks may just be the work of God:

“OR MAYBE OUR PRESIDENT’S HUMILIATION COMES IN A MANNER SO DEVASTATING IT MAKES ONE WONDER WHETHER THE CREATOR OF HUMANKIND ISN’T REMINDING THIS WORLD OF THE INFERIORITY OF FOOLISHNESS IN THE FACE OF WISDOM.”

A massive womanhunt has been launched to locate Bachmann to prevent the further spread of her contagious mental condition which authorities fear could infect the already crazy (and now sex scandal-tainted) Republican contest for the presidential nomation.

Sightings of Bachmann may be reported by calling a toll-free number, 1-800-GET-CRZY.

Health & Medicine, Politics

Donald Trump Finds A Vice Presidential Running Mate In Martin Shkreli

February 5, 2016 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

CONCORD, New Hampshire (The Adobo Chronicles) – Despite his second-place finish in last week’s Iowa Caucuses, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is confident he will win his party’s nomination for the 2016 elections. To reinforce his confidence, he has named his vice presidential running mate. Martin Shkreli.

Shkreli is an American entrepreneur and financial and pharmaceutical executive. He is co-founder of the hedge fund MSMB Capital Management, co-founder and former chief executive officer (CEO) of the biotechnology firm Retrophin LLC, and founder and former CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals AG. In September 2015, Shkreli received widespread criticism when Turing obtained the manufacturing license for the antiparasitic drug Daraprim and raised its price by 5,556 percent (from US$13.50 to US$750 per tablet).

On December 17, 2015, Shkreli was arrested by the FBI on charges of securities fraud and released on bail.

This week, Shkreli testified before Congress and his performance impressed The Donald.

“I like this guy. He is not intimidated by anyone, not even by members of Congress. Just like me,” Trump said.

Today in New Hampshire, while campaigning for next week’s primary, Trump officially named Shkreli as his VP running mate, saying that the “pharma bro” exudes the kind of tough, shrewd, fearless Washington outsider that America needs to make the country great again. “He even has the same smirk as I do,” Trump added.

Birds of the same feather flock together.

Health & Medicine, Religion

American Women Would Rather Give Up Pregnancy Than Alcohol, Filipino Women Prefer Babies

February 5, 2016 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

ATLANTA, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles) – The U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has just released a new report that estimated 3.3 million women between the ages of 15 and 44 years are at risk of exposing their developing baby to alcohol because they are drinking, sexually active, and not using birth control to prevent pregnancy.

“Alcohol can permanently harm a developing baby before a woman knows she is pregnant,” said CDC Principal Deputy Director Anne Schuchat, M.D.

Women of childbearing age are advised not to drink at all if there’s any possibility of pregnancy, federal officials said. Drinking alcohol puts women in danger of having their babies born with fetal alcohol syndrome disorder.

Following the CDC announcment, The Adobo Chronicles conducted two polls — one in the U.S. and another in the Philippines — asking women of childbearing age whether or not they were willing to give up alcohol in order to have healthy babies. The results from the two countries were exact opposites.

U.S. women would rather give up pregnancy because refraining from alcohol jeopardizes their social life and because the cost of rearing babies have skyrocketed over the last decade or so.

Filipino women, on the other hand, said that they would prefer to have babies because Philippine Catholic Bishops have previously stated that children are the country’s greatest resource and that a population increase would be a great boost to the Philippine economy.

It is estimated that yearly remittances to the Philippines from overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) have reached a staggering $18 Billion.