WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – “In the pale of winter, Trump’s tan remains a state secret,” writes SFGATE.com.
But thanks to the Freedom of Information Act (FOI), The Adobo Chronicles was able to unveil the secret to Trump’s eternally orange face.
Here it is:
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – President Rodrigo Duterte has ordered the immediate reclamation of Baguio City’s Burnham Lake.
The man-made lagoon, which has been the venue of rental paddle boats for many decades , has been criticized for its murky, oftentimes chocolate-colored water.
Duterte’s order is his first since issuing an Executive Order transfering the approval of reclamation projects to the Office of the President, through the Philippine Reclamation Authority (PRA),
Presidential spokesperson Salvador Panelo told The Adobo Chronicles that immediately after reclamation, the lake will be converted into an ice-skating rink, an idea first conceived by Baguio’s city officials.
When completed, the Burnham Ice Skating Rink is expected to draw hundreds of thousands of tourists.
It will also make Baguio the entertainment park capital of the Philippines. Recently, Baguio’s SM Mall opened Sky Ranch, a carnival park on Luneta Hill, featuring a ferris wheel and other rides.
DAVAO CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Davao Bureau) – Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte on Sunday confirmed rumors that he had passed away.
”It’s true,” Duterte said, “but I rose again after three days.”
To prove he is back alive, Duterte’s companion, Honylet Avanceña posted a live video of the couple reading last Sunday’s edition of the Philippine Star.
Duterte’s resurrection greatly bothered those who have been advocating for the late Corazon Aquino to be named the next Filipino saint. The former President has not been credited with any miracle, as required by the Roman Catholic Church before proclamation to sainthood.
With Duterte rising from the dead on the third day, many Catholic believers say this was a miracle, a sign from God, and that he should now be proclaimed a living saint.
There was no word from Pope Francis who is currently visiting in the Middle East whether or not he is going to make that proclamation.
The Adobo Chronicles 
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