Category Archives: Food

Business, Food, International

JOLLIBEE TOPS LIST OF CHAIN RESTAURANTS AMERICANS HAVE NEVER HEARD OF

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jollibee-4Oak Brook, Illinois (The Adobo Chronicles) – A good number of Americans are quite familiar with adobo, lumpia and pancit, but most have not heard of Jollibee.  Is it a bird? Is it an insect? Is it a clown?

The answer is: none of the above. It is the fast food chain restaurant that continues to be the greatest threat to McDonald’s in the Philippines, and who knows, perhaps even in the international fast food market. Its menu includes favorites like chicken joy, (sweet) spaghetti, and burgers cooked Filipino-style. It also serves traditional Pinoy breakfasts like tapsilog, longsilog, and bangsilog.

A recent survey conducted by thrillist.com put Jollibee in the number one spot among international chain restaurants that Americans haven’t seen or heard of before. It ranked the best among food chains that originated in countries like Russia, Singapore, Germany, France, the U.K., Brazil and Japan.

CaptureUpon hearing of the survey, top executives at the McDonald’s headquarters in Illinois convened an emergency meeting to strategize on how to counter what they expect to be a sudden surge in the popularity of Jollibee in the U.S.

“We’ve pretty much given up trying to beat that fat, stupid, happy bee in the Philippines, but for it to threaten our business here in America is just not acceptable,” a spokesperson for McDonald’s said.

Gird up your loins. Jollibee may soon be coming to a mall or street corner near you.

 

 

Food, Law Enforcement

OKRA IS NOW ILLEGAL IN THE U.S.

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imageAtlanta, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles) – Okra, that bright green and slimy vegetable which is a main ingredient in the Filipino dish pinakbet and that popular fried delicacy in many U.S. southern states, has just been declared illegal by the American government.

Georgia police raided a retired Atlanta man’s garden last Wednesday after a helicopter crew with the Governor’s Task Force for Drug Suppression spotted suspicious-looking plants on the man’s property. A heavily-armed K9 unit arrived and discovered that the plants were, in fact, okra bushes.

“Okra looks a lot like marijuana (cannabis) plants so they have to be confiscated or destroyed and their owners prosecuted,” a spokesperson for the Georgia police told reporters.

Okra growers in California and other states were shocked at the new government policy and are planning a million march in Washington, D.C. sometime this month which happens to be Filipino American Heritage Month.

“No one can take away my pinakbet from me,” said Juan dela Cruz, an 88 year-old World War II Filipino veteran who lives in Delano, California.

Business, Food, Politics

CASTRO RESTAURANT OWNERS HIRING ASIAN CONSULTANTS TO COME UP WITH A NEW NAME

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IMG_5489San Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – It’s called Fork Café, a restaurant smack in the middle of San Francisco’s gay Castro Street. It has not been in business for long, but because it wasn’t doing very well, its new owners have decided to switch it to an Asian noodle place, serving a variety of noodle dishes from countries like Vietnam, China and the Philippines.  It also plans to adopt a new name to reflect its menu offering.

Not too long ago, a new Mexican restaurant in the Castro was bullied into changing its name from ‘Bandidos’ to ‘Hecho’ because a small group of politically-correct Castro residents protested, saying that the original name (which is Spanish for outlaw or criminal) was offensive to the Mexican American community.

The Fork Café owners are not taking any chances. They are hiring for consultant positions to help them come up with a new name that will not be racist, offensive, discriminatory or insensitive to the Asian American community. The owners said they are an equal-opportunity employer and are encouraging as many people to apply. Applicants don’t have to be gay or lesbian but they must be Chinese, Vietnamese or Filipino.

“Initially we were thinking of the name ‘Chopsticks,’ ‘Slurp,’ or ‘Pancit,’ but we were told these names could be offensive to Asians. That’s why we decided to enlist the expertise of community consultants,” they said.