Category Archives: Business

Business, International, Technology

Top 6 Reasons Bill And Melinda Gates Split Up

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REDMOND, Washington (The Adobo Chronicles, Seattle Bureau) – After 27 years of marriage, Bill and Melinda Gates have announced they were going separate ways.

Here are the top 6 reasons for the split:

6. Melinda is more comfortable with iOS over Windows.

5. Melinda finally realized she wasn’t happy with the pre-nuptial agreement she signed 27 years ago.

4. It’s a side effect of Bill’s Covid-19 vaccination.

3. Melinda says Bill’s operating system is no longer working.

2. Melinda was hired as Apple’s next CEO

1. Melinda says Bill is microsoft.

Business, International

After COPYRIGHT BATTLE WITH Filipino, Prince Harry PURSUES LEGAL ACTION AGAINST J.K. Rowling!

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NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, New York Bureau) – A small-business owner in the Philippines has found himself in a nasty copyright battle with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle over the name of his deodorant brand, “Archewell Harvatera.”

“Archewell” is the name of the duke and duchess’ charity foundation, a nod to their son, Archie. 

But it’s also in the name of the natural antiperspirant sold by manufacturer Victor Martin Soriano, who chose to call his product “Archewell Harvatera” last summer, a few months after Harry and Markle named their foundation in April.

But his Royalty is not stopping there.

Reliable sources told The Adobo Chronicles that Prince Charles’ youngest son is preparing a lawsuit demanding that author JK Rowling rename the main character in her “Harry Potter” series. “There can be no other Harry in the world except me, certainly not a character in a ridiculous fictional series,” the Prince said.

So, watch out, all ye people in the world named “Harry.” Or “Meghan.”

Business, Entertainment, Film and TV, Government, Health & Medicine, Law Enforcement

IATF Issues Guidelines For Opening Of Cinemas

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MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – The Philippines is moving closer to the dawn of the “new normal” after proposals that the entire country be placed under Modified General Community Quarantine (MGCQ), the least restrictive of the government’s regulative policy aimed curbing the spread of Covid-19.

Among the proposed changes is to open up cinemas on the condition of controlled occupancy (physical distancing) and observance of, according to a Department of Health (DOH) officials, the wearing of face masks, no eating, no calls, and NO BATHROOM BREAKS!

In accordance with the DOH recommendation, the Inter-Agency Task Force on Emerging Infectious Diseases (IATF) issued Resolution 69-X that would require all movie patrons to bring their own portable urinals so that they wont’ have the need to use the cinema’s bathroom.

In anticipation of the opening of the cinemas and of the new IATF rules, online shopping portal Lazada is reporting that its supply of portable urinals has been depleted and is currently on back order.