Category Archives: Business

Business, International, Sports, Technology, The Media

STEVE BALLMER INCREASES PURCHASE PRICE FOR CLIPPERS TO 3 BILLION DOLLARS

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Steve Ballmer
Steve Ballmer

Seattle, Washington (The Adobo Chronicles) – The news that former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer has offered to buy the Los Angeles Clippers for Two Billion dollars hasn’t sinked in yet for most people, but already, the Seattle-based billionnaire has  increased his offer to Three Billion.

Ballmer’s new offer came minutes after former Clippers owner Donald Sterling announced he was suing the National Basketball Association (NBA) for One Billion dollars. In the complaint obtained by The Los Angeles Times, Sterling alleged the NBA committed antitrust violations, breached contracts and denied his constitutional rights.

This entire circus was promptd by Sterling’s much-publicized racist comments made to his girlfriend, V. Stiviano, regarding her association with black people.

In speaking with The Adobo Chronicles, Ballmer said, “I’m sick and tired of this lawsuit sh*t. If Sterling wants to sue for One Billions Dollars, I’ll give him One Billion Dollars so he can move on and go into retirement in Alaska or wherever he feels comfortable living in.”

“So today, I am announcing that I am increasing my purchase price for the Clippers to Theee Billion, and Sterling can keep the One Billion and just shut the f*ck up,” Ballmer added.

Controversy solved!

Disclaimer: Ballmer’s photo shows him raising five fingers, but he is only committing to Three Billion.

 

Business, Film and TV, Human Interest, International, Law Enforcement, Politics, Sports, The Media

TAX-EVADING MANNY PACQUIAO PLANS TO BUY AN ENTIRE ISLAND

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Manny Pacquiao
Manny Pacquiao

Sarangani, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Manny Pacquiao: world champion boxer, congressman, soon-to-be basketball player and coach, potential 2016 presidential candidate, billionaire and tax evader. What’s next for ‘Pacman?’

Today, Pacquaio announced his retirement plans to buy an entire island in Palawan, the southwestern Philippine province known for its pristine beaches, breath-taking land formations and world-class resorts and tourist destinations. There he will build his retirement home, or is it palace?

Immediately following the announcement, Bureau of Internal Revenue Commissioner Kim Henares put out a “keep an eye advisory” to the tax agency’s Palawan branch to make sure that Pacquiao will pay the appropriate property and other applicable taxes in connection with his planned island purchase. Previously, Henares had charged Pacquiao of  failing to pay taxes for his earnings in the boxing ring.

Pacquiao has dominated the headlines lately. In addition to his tax woes, he is reportedly eyeing the Philippine presidency come the 2016 elections. He has sealed an advertising agreement with KIA and signed up to be the Korean car company’s basketball player and coach in the Philippines’ professional basketball league. It was also revealed that Pacquiao remains to be the only billionnaire member of Congress, not to mention being the number one absentee.

Pacquiao is also known as ‘karaoke king, ” but almost everyone knows that already.

Pacquiao is still deciding which island in Palawan he will purchase.

Business, Human Interest, International, Technology

FARMVILLE IS BACK WITH A VENGEANCE, SEEKS TO CRUSH CANDY CRUSH

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farmvilleSan Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – FarmVille is poised to make a huge comeback after it lost its number one spot in social network games to Candy Crush.

FarmVille is a farming simulation social network game developed by San Francisco-based Zynga in 2009.  Its gameplay involves various aspects of farm management such as plowing land, planting, growing, and harvesting crops, harvesting trees and raising livestock.

Acknowledging that just like traditional agriculture, FarmVille has become antiquated, Zynga said it was time for the popular game to keep up with modern technology, advanced business practices and raging environmental issues. Zynga said that it will start rolling out FarmVille 3 on June 1.

Asked by The Adobo Chronicles what is new with FarmVille 3, a spokesperson for Zynga said that instead of using outdated farm tools and methods, the all-new FarmVille will utilize tractors, generators, high-tech silos, chemical fertilizers, GMOs, greenhouses, computerized irrigation systems, video surveillance systems to watch over livestock, among other things.

“We don’t want to give away everything,” the spokesperson said, “our customers should just check it out for themselves.”

Watch out Candy Crush. FarmVille is out to get you!