All posts by Pol Pinoy

Twitter to Philippines’ New Ambassador To The UN: Shape Up Or We’ll Pack You Up

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Locsin

 

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) – The social media network Twitter has a serious warning to newly-appointed Philippine ambassador to the United Nations, Teddy Boy Locsin: shape up or we’ll pack you up.

Locsin, former congressman and self-absorbed journalist has, in recent days, been using his Twitter account to mimic President Rodrigo Roa Duterte and paint himself as a fearless free speech advocate, capable of cussing and  defending evil elements like the Nazis.

Except that he totally  forgot about Twitter’s community policy: you cannot threaten anyone.

Well, that’s exactly what Locsin has been doing on his Twitter account.

Examples of his threatening tweets:

“I will remember you, you f*** face. Find this guy and make his life hell.”

“Yes, you f***ing shit, I get a hold of you and I will shove de Lima up your ass.”

(The second tweet above was considered by Twitter as more offensive than the first.)

So readers, if you are offended by Locsin’s tweets, not to worry — our dear UN ambassador will soon be Twitter history.

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Philippine President’s Communications Secretary: ‘The Second Coming Is Here!’

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Andanar

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Martin Andanar, Secretary of the Presidential Communications Office,  today announced to the Filipino people that the second coming of Jesus Christ is here!  And it is in the person of President Rodrigo Roa Duterte.

“We see a different Jesus, a cussing saviour out to free the Filipinos from the gates of hell,’  Andanar said.  “It’s time to repent and follow the new Jesus, as I have.”

In an opinion piece published in the Daily Inquirer, Andanar compared his first meeting with Duterte in Davao City to when Jesus met the fishermen who would be his apostles at Galilee.

Andanar didn’t’ say which apostle he was — Simon Peter, James or John.

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Filipinos Urged To Strictly Follow Escalator Etiquette

IMG_6204.PNGMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Change has indeed come to the Philippines under the administration of President Rodrigo Roa Duterte which marks exactly 100 days today.

No drugs. No corruption. No tanim bala. No riding in tandem. No road rage. Above all, a more disciplined citizenry.

During the previous Aquino administration, people in crowded malls were clogging up escalators talking or texting on their smart phones

Not anymore.

Beginning immediately, mall security will strictly enforce a new escalator etiquette. Violators will be fined or asked to leave the building.

It’s a simple rule when using mall escalators: stay on the right to stand, keep left to walk, and use the shiny railing to slide down.

“Sa ika-uunlad ng bayan, disiplina ang kailangan.” (Discipline is key to nation-building)

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