MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – In his desperate attempt to criticize Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte’s foreign policy, Inquirer columnist Richard Heydarian’s brain went blank.
But Inquirer says the newspaper doesn’t pay for empty columns, so it asked Heydarian to fill in the blank.
Heydarian did and Inquirer published an erratum:
BAGUIO CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Baguio Bureau) – Baguio has moved quickly to deal with the stinky situation resulting from the closure of a major dumpsite in the city.
With the suspension of Irisan dumpsite, city residents have been advised that garbage collectors will no longer collect biodegradable trash (nabubulok).
But not to worry. The Baguio City Council has passed a resolution authorizing the shipment of compostable waste to Australia.
A spokesperson for the City Government told The Adobo Chronicles that two large shipping containers will arrve shortly and will be stationed at City Hall’s parking lot. Residents can then bring their nabubulok trash to City Hall.
Once full, containers will be shipped to Australia for composting. The compost will then be shipped back to Baguio to be used as fertilizer by fruit and vegetable farmers in neighboring La Trinidad.
All’s well that ends well in the Summer Capital of the Philippines.
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Acknowledging that they don’t have the numbers to impeach President Rodrigo Duterte over his stance on the West Philippine Sea, Vice President Leni Robredo and the token Opposition Senators have come up with a more viable alternative.
Robredo and Senators Panfilo Lacson, Franklin Drilon, Risa Hontiveros and Kiko Pangilinan are proposing a wides-scale branding of all Philippine fish in the sea.
”Branding” is a common practice among ranchers of tattooing their herd uisng a branding iron for purposes of identification of ownership.
Under the proposal, the Philippine Coastguard and the Bureau of Fisheries will immediately brand all fish that swim in the country’s territorial waters. Instead of the usual number, the fish will be branded with the Philippine flag.
Robredo and the Senators said that upon completion of the fish branding, they plan to file a petition with the United Nations to declare all branded fish to be the exclusive property of the Philippines. Chinese and other non-Filipino fishermen will be ordered to throw back into the sea all branded fish they catch.
“All we are saying,” Robredo told The Adobo Chronicles, “is give fish a chance.”
The Adobo Chronicles 
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