WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau)- The White House has confirmed that President Donald Trump had a great phone conversation with Rodrigo Duterte over the weekend and has extended an invitation to the Philippine president to visit the U.S.
Here’ a transcript of the amorous phone call as released by The White House:
TRUMP: Good afternoon Mr. Doo-ter-tey.
DUTERTE: It’s Du-ter-te. And it’s 3 a.m. here in the Philippines.
TRUMP: Well, I never apologize, so I’m not going to say, “I’m sorry.”
DUTERTE: You just did, you son of a whore.
TRUMP: Hey, hey, watch your language. I’m the president of the most powerful country in the world. Yours is just a third world country.
DUTERTE: Maybe, but I am friends with powerful countries that are your enemies, like China and Russia.
TRUMP: Well, why can’t we be friends as well? After all, people are calling you the “Trump of the Philippines.”
DUTERTE: Let me correct you, p*tang i*a mo. You’re being called the Duterte of America.
TRUMP: Anyway, I hear you’re doing a great job hosting the ASEAN leaders at your summit in Manila.
DUTERTE: Yeah, better than your hosting of the Easter Egg Hunt at your White House. That was pathetic!
TRUMP: I would like to invite you to The White House. It’s gonna be great.
DUTERTE: But I don’t have a visa to come to the U.S. Remember, I was already denied a U.S. visa when I wanted to come visit my girlfriend during my college days?
TRUMP: Dude, that was way before my time ‘ya know.
DUTERTE: Well, technically, I am from a Muslim region in the Philippines 🇵🇭. I thought you wanted to ban Muslims from entering your country?
TRUMP: As president, I can grant you an exemption.
DUTERTE: But The New York Times says I am a murderer. Doesn’t your travel ban include terrorists and murderers?
TRUMP: F*ck The New York Times. All they report is fake news.
DUTERTE: Invitation accepted.
(At this point, Duterte ran out of mobile phone load. So the conversation abruptly ended.)
HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles, Los Angeles Bureau) – After all the social media hype, news reports and speculation, loyal fans of former talk show host and presidential sister Kris Aquino were shocked and disappointed that their idol isn’t one of the main cast members named for an upcoming Hollywood film, “Crazy Rich Asians.” This major Hollywood film based on the novel by best-selling author Kevin Kwan, will have an all-Asian cast.
IMDb, Hollywood’s official repository of film projects, reveals the names of the cast of the new film, including Constance Yu, Michelle Yeoh, Gemma Chan, Awkwafina and Sonoya Mizuno, but no Kris Aquino.
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – The New York Times (NYT), known for its sensational reports and editorials bashing the Philippines under President Rodrigo Duterte, may have finally met its match in the person of Ex-Philippine President NoyNoy Aquino.
The Adobo Chronicles 
You must be logged in to post a comment.