WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau)- The White House has confirmed that President Donald Trump had a great phone conversation with Rodrigo Duterte over the weekend and has extended an invitation to the Philippine president to visit the U.S.
Here’ a transcript of the amorous phone call as released by The White House:
TRUMP: Good afternoon Mr. Doo-ter-tey.
DUTERTE: It’s Du-ter-te. And it’s 3 a.m. here in the Philippines.
TRUMP: Well, I never apologize, so I’m not going to say, “I’m sorry.”
DUTERTE: You just did, you son of a whore.
TRUMP: Hey, hey, watch your language. I’m the president of the most powerful country in the world. Yours is just a third world country.
DUTERTE: Maybe, but I am friends with powerful countries that are your enemies, like China and Russia.
TRUMP: Well, why can’t we be friends as well? After all, people are calling you the “Trump of the Philippines.”
DUTERTE: Let me correct you, p*tang i*a mo. You’re being called the Duterte of America.
TRUMP: Anyway, I hear you’re doing a great job hosting the ASEAN leaders at your summit in Manila.
DUTERTE: Yeah, better than your hosting of the Easter Egg Hunt at your White House. That was pathetic!
TRUMP: I would like to invite you to The White House. It’s gonna be great.
DUTERTE: But I don’t have a visa to come to the U.S. Remember, I was already denied a U.S. visa when I wanted to come visit my girlfriend during my college days?
TRUMP: Dude, that was way before my time ‘ya know.
DUTERTE: Well, technically, I am from a Muslim region in the Philippines 🇵🇭. I thought you wanted to ban Muslims from entering your country?
TRUMP: As president, I can grant you an exemption.
DUTERTE: But The New York Times says I am a murderer. Doesn’t your travel ban include terrorists and murderers?
TRUMP: F*ck The New York Times. All they report is fake news.
DUTERTE: Invitation accepted.
(At this point, Duterte ran out of mobile phone load. So the conversation abruptly ended.)