WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – The United States Congress may not have the guts to ban assault weapons — thanks to the powerful gun lobby (NRA) — but it doesn’t have any problem outlawing selfie sticks because of “security concerns.”

A selfie stick is an extendable monopod used to take photographs by clamping a cell phone on the far end of the device, allowing the user to capture special moments and a wider view that otherwise wouldn’t be possible because of the normal short range of the arm.

Theme parks such as Walt Disney World Resort and Six Flags already ban selfie sticks for safety reasons while some sports and concert venues prohibit their use for “nuisance” issues and for interfering with other spectators’ enjoyment or view.

A group of Republican congressmen have taken the issue several steps forward by drafting a bill that would completely ban the use of selfie sticks in all public venues in America including zoos, parks, concert halls and sports stadiums. It will also make it illegal to have a selfie stick in carry-on luggages on airplanes, trains and buses.

“Selfie sticks are deadly as baseball bats,” one GOP congressman told The Adobo Chronicles, “and we owe it to our citizens to ensure that they are protected from unscrupulous individuals who may use the device to kill or injure someone in moments of rage or mental instability.”

The proposed bill, which has the backing of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, directs the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) to come up with licensing procedures and strict regulations limiting the possession and use of selfie sticks to proven responsible citizens with above-average IQ, no criminal records, and no unpaid back taxes.

CLEVELAND, Ohio (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – In America, you have to be 18 years old to drive a vehicle, vote in an election, or legally purchase cigarettes; and 21 to be able to enter and drink in a bar.

Now, the Republican Party wants to set a minimum age in order to be able to own a cell phone.

In its newly-released 2016 party platform, the GOP has set the tone to “make America great again,” by ensuring that the country’s future generations grow up socially and mentally sound without intereference from modern technology.

Under the proposal, it would be illegal for a young man or woman below the age of 16 to own or use a cell phone. Any one caught violating the law would be fined $699 for the first offense and $999 plus 1 year behind bars for the succeeding offense.

The proposal also imposes fine and prison time for the kids’ parents and guardians who willingly purchase the cell phones for the underaged.

The proposal, authored by Senator Ted Cruz, passed unanimously despite strong opposition from cell phone makers in the Silicon Valley, Europe and Asia.

The entire party platform is expected to be approved at the Republican National Convention on July 18 in Cleveland, Ohio.

Upon passage of the new law, underaged kids have up to 60 days to sell their phones on eBay or to voluntarily recycle them.