Senator Ted Cruz Admitted To Hospital

Cruz
Cruz

CONCORD, New Hampshire (The Adobo Chronicles)- The campaign trail is proving to be grueling for Senator Ted Cruz, Republican presidential candidate.

After giving a speech before college students in New Hamphire, he complained about a mild headache and blurred vision, prompting his campaign staff to call the paramedics.

He was taken on an ambulance to a nearby private hospital. There, Emergency Room nurses took his blood pressure reading,  gave him an EKG test, was given an aspirin, then rolled him into a private room reserved for VIP patients.  He was hooked up to an oxygen machine and was administered a liquid infusion as a preventive measure for dehydration.

Three of the hospital’s top doctors took turns in evaluating his condition. Complete blood and urine tests were administered.

Cruz then went through a chest x-ray and then a full-body CT scan.

As a precautionary measure, doctors recommended an emergency colonoscopy which was immediately performed.

When the senator recovered from sedation, the hospital’s chief doctor was at his bedside to deliver the news:  ‘You’re fine, just a little fatigue.  We can now release you.”

On his way out, he dropped by the hospital’s accounts payable department to settle his bill.

To his surprise, the hospital staff told him his total bill was zero, and that it’s been fully paid for.

“By whom?” the senator asked.

“By your health insurance, Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Texas,” he was told.

It was ironic that just minutes before he was rushed to the E.R., Cruz he told a campaign audience that he had no health insurance because President Barack Obama’s health care law caused the cancellation of his coverage.

 

 

Donald Trump Freaking Out About Possible Michael Bloomberg Presidential Run

imageNEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) – For the first time since he launched his bid for the Republican presidential nomination, Billionaire Donald Trump is nervous. Very nervous. In fact, he is freaking out!

Trump, who doesn’t have any problem touting his riches,  may not be rich enough compared to former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg who today announced a  possible third-party bid for president, telling allies he could spend at least $1 Billion to mount the uphill climb, according to the New York Times.

Bloomberg’s net worth is estimated at $36.5 Billion, compared to Trump’s $4.5 Billion.

Records from the Federal Elections Commission show that Trump has spent $5.6 Million on his campaign so far.  He has raised $5.8 Million, including a $1.8 Million personal loan. That’s peanuts compared to the $1 Billion that Bloomberg plans to spend on his presidential bid.

Has Trump finally found his match in the 2016 presidential elections?  Or shall we say, mismatch?

 

 

 

Miss Universe Returns To The Philippines, Tax Woman Confiscates Her Crown

The crownless Miss Universe. Inset: Henares
The crownless Miss Universe. Inset: Henares

NINOY AQUINO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Miss Universe 2015 Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach arrived in her native Philippines today to a warm welcome at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA). She wasn’t wearing her $300,000 crown.

In her brief statement upon arrival, Wurtzbach thanked all who trooped to the airport in the early hours of the morning to welcome her.  She did not mention anything about her missing crown.

However, The Adobo Chronicles just learned that the crown was personally confiscated by the Philippines’ chief tax woman, Kim Henares of the Bureau of Internal Revenue (BIR).  The BIR commissioner was on hand to greet her at the airport’s VIP lounge with an official tax statement demanding $30,000  (1.4 Million pesos) in taxes for the bejeweled crown.

When Wurtzbach refused to pay up, saying that the crown is just “on loan” to her for the duration of her reign, Henares ordered her tax agents to confiscate the crown.

Miss Universe is scheduled to hold a press conference tomorrow and is expected to reveal details of the confiscated crown.