IF ELECTED PRESIDENT, DUTERTE WILL ABOLISH CONGRESS, BINAY WILL ABOLISH THE PRESIDENCY

Binay, left, and Duterte
Binay, left, and Duterte

BUTUAN CITY, Philippines – Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte has vowed to end corruption by abolishing Philippine Congress, and to increase the salaries of government employees, if he is elected president in 2016. Duterte is considered one of the strong contenders for president, although he has not  yet decided whether or not to run.

“If we will follow the presidential form of government, it will take us 40 to 50 years before we can achieve the needed reforms,” Duterte told guests during the Federalism Forum here last Thursday.

Reacting to Duterte’s statement, Vice President Jejomar Binay who is considered the frontrunner in the 2016 presidential race, countered by saying that if elected, he will abolish the Office of the President. Instead, Binay said he will establish a monarchy.

“I believe that the Royal form of government is the only answer to the country’s problems,” Binay said, adding that too much politics is the root of all corruption in the Philippines.

Binay said that a monarchy will also eliminate the need for future elections which are always tainted with fraud, since the head of the monarchy is always determined by ascendancy.

Imagine Malacañang, the presidential palace, occupied by Haring Jejomar (King Jejomar), Reyna Elenita (Queen Elenita), Prinsepe Junjun (Prince JunJun), Prinsesa Abigail (Princess Abigail) and Prinsesa Nancy (Princess Nancy).

So if you want a monarchy for the Philippines, vote for Binay in 2016!

5-DECKER BUSES TO REPLACE MRT TRAINS IN METRO MANILA

imageMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Relief is finally coming to the millions of daily commuters on Metro Manila’s light railway system, the LRT and the MRT.

The mass transportation system has been plagued by overcrowding, long and winding lines, accidents and constant passenger frayed nerves. Not to mention the latest unpopular fare increases which have prompted quite a few protest marches.

Acknowledging that the situation is all but hopeless, Department of Transportation and Communications (DOTC) Secretary Jose Emilio Abaya today announced that the government is giving up on the MRT and will revert to good old buses.

But in order not to make the already nightmarish traffic that’s a common daily occurence on Metro Manila’s roadways any worse than it already is, Abaya said that the government will replace the trains with 5-decker buses.

Initially, some 500 units of the tall buses were ordered from Volvo and are expected to arrive in Manila from Sweden  by April 1st this year. Each bus has a seating capacity of 250 passengers. Standing capacity will easily add another 250 passengers per bus.  Abaya said the 500 units should be sufficient to fill the gap that the MRT trains will create once they get de-commissioned.

The first deck of the buses will be reserved for senior citizens and people with disabilities, as well as for people who suffer from acrophobia, or the fear of heights. Acrophobics must present a doctor’s letter or certification in order to use the first deck.

Metro Manila may finally see the end to its public transportation woes and its mass transit system could become a model for the world.

FDA BANS WINE, RICE AND MAC N CHEESE FROM U.S. SUPERMARKETS

imageWASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – Supermarket shoppers won’t see three popular items on the shelves the next time they go grocery shopping.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has totally banned the sale of wine, rice and Mac n Cheese following reports that these have been tainted with health hazards.

Both wine and rice have been reported to contain dangerous levels or arsenic, the chemical that is present in poison. Mac n Cheese, on the other hand, has been found to contain metal scraps and had to be recalled by its manufacturer.

“We know this would be upsetting to many American consumers because of the enormous popularity of these items,” an FDA spokesman said.

“However, there are many alternatives that are available to consumers,” the spokesman added.  “These include quinoa as substitute for rice, beer as substitute for wine, and Chinese noodles (chow mein) as substitute for Mac n Cheese.”

The FDA asked consumers to be patient as it conducts a thorough investigation of the tainted items.