DEVELOPING NEWS: 49ERS DEFECT TO SEATTLE!

A 49er fan showing his adoration on his t-shirt (file photo)
A 49er fan showing his adoration on his t-shirt (file photo)

Seattle, Washington – Just hours after their 23-10 win over the Carolina Panthers, majority of the team players of the San Francisco 49ers defected to Seattle. This stunning development all but maimed 49er fans and doused ice-cold water over the prospect of seeing their team in this year’s Superbowl.

With not enough players on the 49er team, the NFL declared the Seattle Seahawks the de facto winner in the NFC championship finals, originally scheduled for next Sunday.

It wasn’t clear how many players defected but 49er coach Jim Harbaugh confirmed to The Adobo Chronicles that he does not have enough players to make it to the playoff next week.

One of the players who defected spoke to the media just outside the 49er locker room at the Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte, North Carolina, said that the defection was in protest against the 49er move from San Francisco to the new Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara.  The $1.3 Billion stadium is set to open in August this year.

The player, who asked that his name not be used in media reports, said that all his teammates did not want to leave San Francisco.  “We are the San Francisco 49ers, not the Santa Clara 49ers,” he exclaimed with a tear in his left eye.

The NFL has scheduled a press conference about this development on Monday at Candlestick Park in San Francisco.

ON SPARE THE AIR DAYS, SAN FRANCISCO BANS AROMATIC FOODS ABOARD TRAINS AND BUSES

imageSan Francisco, California – On ‘Spare the Air’ days – which observers say San Francisco has been declaring more frequently in the last couple of months – residents are prohibited from burning wood, even on a cold winter night.

Now, the City by the Bay, considered the most environmentally-conscious in all of the U.S., has imposed new restrictions on these designated days.  The new rules prohibit residents and transients alike from bringing certain aromatic foods on board MUNI and BART trains and buses.

Included in the banned items are bagoong, the fermented fish or shrimp paste used in popular Filipino dishes like kare-kare; any kind of curry dishes; kimchee; and even Sriracha, the much-loved hot red chili sauce that almost disappeared from the market lately. Only unopened, sealed bottles of Sriracha will be permitted.

(It will be recalled that last November, a California judge ordered a partial shutdown of Huy Hong Foods, makers of Sriracha, because residents complained of spicy smells the Irwindale factory was producing.)

Pizza was originally included among the banned items but the powerful lobby representing  San Francisco Italian restaurants and pizzerias was able to convince city officials to strike it off the list.

Train and bus riders caught violating the new rules will be charged with a misdemeanor and will be stripped of their riding privileges for up to 30 days.  Additionally, repeat violators will be fined $19.99.

Private employers are also reportedly considering a similar ban in employee breakrooms.

MCDONALD’S IS THE CULPRIT IN CHEESE SHORTAGE

imageNorthfield, Illinois – Just a day after it announced a shortage of its cheese products, Kraft Foods accused fastfood giant McDonald’s of hoarding tons and tons of the popular cheese brand Velveeta.

In its earlier announcement, Kraft said it did not know what was causing the Velveeta shortage, only going as far as to say that a noticeable decline in its product supply happens every now and then. Analysts surmised that the shortage may have something to do with the NFL season where football fans consume an unusual amount of cheese and cheese products.

However, a Kraft external investigation confirmed that McDonald’s has been stocking crates and crates of Velveeta cheese in just the last several weeks.

In an exclusive interview with The Adobo Chronicles, a top executive of the hamburger chain admitted that indeed, McDonald’s has been holding on to a huge inventory of Velveeta cheese.  The reason? “We are about to launch a new McDonald’s menu item — Mc N Cheese,” the spokesperson said.