Tag Archives: Selfitis

HOT WATER BUCKET CHALLENGE LAUNCHED TO RAISE MONEY FOR SELFITIS CURE

Capture
Martha Stewart, left, and Mark Zuckerberg accept the ice bucket challenge

San Jose, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – By now, most people with Internet access are familiar with the ice bucket challenge intended to raise funds to help find a cure for Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), often referred to as “Lou Gehrig’s Disease.”  ALS is  a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord. Motor neurons reach from the brain to the spinal cord and from the spinal cord to the muscles throughout the body. The progressive degeneration of the motor neurons in ALS often leads to paralysis.

The challenge involves people either dousing themselves with a bucket of ice and posting a video on social media, or making a  donation to the ALS cause.  Unfortunately, many people, including celebrities like Mark Zuckerberg and Martha Stewart chose to douse themselves with ice instead of making a donation.  While the challenge campaign has gone viral, donations were not at levels the campaign organizers had hoped for. In California, Governor Jerry Brown reminded people to consider the state’s water shortage before accepting the ice bucket challenge.  “They should just donate,” he said.

Now, a similar campaign has been launched on the Internet to help raise funds to find a cure for selfitis. (Recently, the American Psychiatric Association officially declared the taking of selfie photos and posting them on the Internet a mental disorder).  Instead of a bucket of ice, the selfitis challenge involves people dousing themselves with hot water, or making a donation.  Most people are choosing to donate.

While no official numbers have been released by either the ALS or the Selfitis groups, there is great speculation that more funds have been raised by the hot water bucket challenge.

Moral of the story: pick your challenge wisely.

U.S. FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION APPROVES NEW PILLS TO CURE SELFITIS

Selpram in green, blue and red pills
Selpram in green, blue and red pills

Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The. U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) today announced the approval of a new pill that would cure selfitis, the obsessive-compulsive urge to take photos of one’s self and posting them on social media.

Recently, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) officially classified selfie-taking as a mental disorder with three levels of the disease: borderline, acute and chronic.

The FDA announcement unveiled three color-coded pills that doctors can prescribe to their patients: green for borderline, blue for acute and red for chronic selfitis. In clinical trials conducted prior to the FDA approval, the pills showed an efficacy rate of plus or minus three percent.

Selfitis
Selfitis

The new pills are similar to FDA-approved drugs that fall under the category of SSRI, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, used to treat depression and anxiety. The new pills’ manufacturer, Actavis which recently acquired Forest Laboratories, said the new drug will be marketed under the brand name selpram . Forest Laboratories owns the brand name Celexa (citalopram) which is prescribed for depression.

The FDA announcement came as a huge relief to selfie addicts, a population that has grown to  almost 1 Billion worldwide. Equally, Facebook and Instagram users will be spared from the agony of having to deal with their friends’ selfies all too frequently posted on their walls.

Selpram will be available in the market starting this fall.

 

 

 

SELFIES: FIRST A MENTAL DISORDER, NOW A SYMPTOM OF SEXUAL DEFICIENCY

The Bieber taking a selfie
The Bieber taking a selfie

Wageningen, The Netherlands (The Adobo Chronicles) – Selfies seem to be taking quite a bit of beating lately.  First, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) recently officially classified selfies as a mental disorder.  Now, a Dutch researcher says selfies can cause a severe sexual imbalance.

The Dutch researcher, Christyntjes Van Gallgher and his team from Wageningen University studied 800 people who self-identified as ‘selfie addicts.’  The study found that 83% of the study participants had zero to low sexual activity, leading the researchers to conclude that selfitis, as defined by the APA, also causes  sexual deficiency syndrome, a condition that depletes the body’s hormones and sexual appetite. The study has a margin of error of  plus or minus 3%.

The researchers recommended that selfie addicts reduce their social media activity (taking self photos and posting them on the Internet) by at least 50% in order to regain normal production of their hormones.