Tag Archives: Selfies

Business, Health & Medicine, Human Interest, Technology

NEW STANFORD STUDY SAYS CUSTOM BREAD TOASTER CAN CURE SELFITIS

February 2, 2015 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

PALO ALTO, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Researchers at Stanford University Medical School have found an unusual cure for selfitis, a mental disorder defined by the American Psychiatric Association as “the obsessive-compulsive urge to take photos of one’s self and posting them on social media.” It is estimated that 250 Million people worldwide suffer from selfitis.

The new cure is in the form of a ‘selfie toaster’ which imprints personalized selfie photos on bread slices. The kitchen appliance is manufactured and distrubuted by Vermont Novelty Toaster Corporation. The Vermont-based company is the same manufacturer of the ‘Jesus toaster’ and the ‘Virgin Mary toaster.’

For just $75, you can now order a custom image toaster that will brown your face, or any other image you submit, into toasted bread, said company owner Galen Dively.

The Stanford researchers studied 500 individuals suffering from chronic selfitis and provided them with customized selfie toasters. After just six months of tracking the study participants, researchers found that 75% were cured of selfitis and have totally stopped taking selfies.

“We believe that the daily routine of ‘consuming one’s self’ for breakfast creates a subconscious resolve to keep the ego in check,” the researchers concluded.

So much for the saying, “You’re toast!” Now we can say, “You’re cured!” Of selfitis.

Law Enforcement, Technology

MILLION MARCH PLANNED TO PROTEST PROPOSED PHILIPPINE LAW BANNING SELFIES

August 29, 2014 Pol Pinoy 1 Comment

Makati City, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – A proposed bill banning the taking of selfies in public passed on first reading in the Philippine House of Representatives, and the residents of Makati City, recenty named the selfie capital of the world, are not happy.

The proposed law is meant to discourage paparazzis and others from taking their own photos in parks and other public venues because it could possibly invade the privacy of others. The bill also aims to stop the spread of selfitis, the mental disorder associated with selfies, as declared just a few months ago by the American Psychiatric Association.

Makati Mayor Junjun Binay, son of Vice President Jejomar Binay, annouced that the local government is organizing a million people’s march to protest the proposed law. “I call upon one milllion Makati residents to unite and take to the streets on September 1st to show our national lawmakers how we feel about this infringement of our freedom,” the young Binay said, not realizing that his city only has a population of 500,000.

Binay encouraged every participant to bring their smart phones so that “at the appointed time during the march, we will all simultaneously take selfie photos. We are aiming at the Guinness World Record for the most number of selfies taken in a single venue.”

Another feather in the cap for Makati City?

Health & Medicine, International, The Media

U.S. FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION APPROVES NEW PILLS TO CURE SELFITIS

August 4, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The. U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) today announced the approval of a new pill that would cure selfitis, the obsessive-compulsive urge to take photos of one’s self and posting them on social media.

Recently, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) officially classified selfie-taking as a mental disorder with three levels of the disease: borderline, acute and chronic.

The FDA announcement unveiled three color-coded pills that doctors can prescribe to their patients: green for borderline, blue for acute and red for chronic selfitis. In clinical trials conducted prior to the FDA approval, the pills showed an efficacy rate of plus or minus three percent.

The new pills are similar to FDA-approved drugs that fall under the category of SSRI, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, used to treat depression and anxiety. The new pills’ manufacturer, Actavis which recently acquired Forest Laboratories, said the new drug will be marketed under the brand name selpram . Forest Laboratories owns the brand name Celexa (citalopram) which is prescribed for depression.

The FDA announcement came as a huge relief to selfie addicts, a population that has grown to almost 1 Billion worldwide. Equally, Facebook and Instagram users will be spared from the agony of having to deal with their friends’ selfies all too frequently posted on their walls.

Selpram will be available in the market starting this fall.