Tag Archives: Lenscrafters

LENSCRAFTERS UNVEILS NEW CONSERVATIVE EYE GLASSES

imageMASON, Ohio (The Adobo Chronicles® ) – Many who are vision-impaired have long benefited from progressive lenses which enable them to wear a single pair of eyeglasses for both distance and reading prescriptions.

Those who can’t wear progressives have long clamored for a product that would cater to their particular situation.

Finally, LensCrafters is unveiling a new kind of lenses for conservative eyeglass wearers. The new technology will help people with conservative views and ideology to see things from different perspectives — from moderate to liberal.

The new lens will be available at LensCrafters stores nationwide beginning in mid-winter, 2016, just in time for the U.S. presidential primaries.

LENSCRAFTERS OFFERS SNOWDEN A MODELING JOB

imageMason, Ohio – LensCrafters, the nationwide eyeglass chain known for its mantra of “glasses in an hour,” has offered Edward Snowden, the fugitive former employee of a contractor for the National Security Administration who leaked secret damaging documents to the media, a job as an eyeglass model.  The Ohio-based company was apparently mesmerized by the photos of Snowden that have appeared in the media worldwide, showing Snowden sporting a stylish pair of eyglasses.

“His good looks with those glasses would make him the perfect eyeglass model for our company,” a spokesperson for LensCrafters told reporters today.

LensCrafters has offered Snowden a deal that would be hard to resist.  The company will pay for his first-class airfare from Moscow to Ohio, shoulder all his legal expenses that may result from the espionage charges the U.S. government is preparing to file in court upon his return to  the U.S. , and a salary as an eyeglass model that’s twice the compensation he was receiving at the NSA contractor company which fired him.

Snowden said he was seriously thinking about the offer and will make a decision in the next 24 hours.  He said he will sleep over it on his sleeping bag at the Moscow  airport and will have an announcement about the offer by 9am, Moscow time, right after he has had his cup of Starbucks coffee.

GOOGLE ANNOUNCES PRESCRIPTION GOOGLE GLASS

imageSilicon Valley, California – Imagine being an owner of a Google glass, when in fact, you already wear prescription glasses or contact lenses for being far-sighted. This makes Google’s latest innovation not only impractical but also unfashionable.

When Google first unveiled Google glass, the American Society of Opthalmology threatened to sue the Silicon Valley technology giant for unfair business practice and discrimination.

In an impromptu announcement over the July 4th weekend, Google founder and CEO  Larry Page said that Google is poised to unveil the prescription version of its newest baby in the next two weeks.  Asked by The Adobo Chronicles how much the prescription Google glass would cost, Page said it would not be more than $1,500 plus the normal cost of prescription lenses. Scratch proof and anti-reflective options would be extra.

Upon learning about the prescription version of Google glass, LensCrafters immediately asked Google that it be the exclusive distributor of the product, assuring Page that it will keep its promise to its customers of “glasses made in an hour.”