Tag Archives: Ebola

AMBER ALERT ISSUED! EBOLA CZAR IS MISSING.

Klain
Klain

Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The Amber Alert, a U.S. emergency response system, is exclusively designed to deal with child abduction cases. But for the first time, the Federal government has used the system and issued a missing person report for an adult — no less than President Barack Obama’s newly-appointed Ebola Czar.

Since Ron Klain officially started his job on October 22, he has not been seen or heard of. Even reporters at White House briefings have asked questions like: “What’s Ron Klain doing?” or “Is he accomplishing what he was appointed to do?”  or “What has he done?”  As for the visibly scared American public, the bigger question is : “Where is the Ebola Czar?”

White House press secretary Josh Earnest has explained repeatedly that Klain’s work would principally be “behind the scenes,” offering broad, bland descriptions of his work.

But national law enforcement agencies are not taking Earnest’s words in stride and have issued a national Amber Alert, asking Americans (and non-Americans) to help find Klain.  The public is advised to call their nearest police department if they have any sighting of Klain or someone who looks like Klain.

Although the Ebola scare perpetuated by politicians and the media have remained just that — a scare — the national government is not taking any chances in case Klain has been abducted by aliens or by Ebola ghosts.

EBOLA DETRACTORS – WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

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San Jose, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Nevermind the science.

Donald Trump wanted to ban all incoming flights from Africa.  Ann Coulter called the U.S. doctor who treated Ebola patients in West Africa “idotic.”

The states of New York and New Jersey implemented a mandatory quarantine for anyone arriving at their airports  suspected of carrying the Ebola virus. Maine had deployed state police to monitor symptom-less nurse Kaci Hickox when she arrived in the state after spending time in a quarantine tent in New Jersey.

Republicans in Senate battleground races including Kansas, North Carolina and Colorado have called for travel restrictions against countries where the Ebola virus has spread in West African countries.

Network and cable news channels had no shortage of Ebola segments, even dissecting the hazmat suit to prove fluids can still leak through and spread the virus.

By golly, the President of the United States even appointed an Ebola Czar: an attorney!

Americans cowered in fear. Armageddon was coming!

So, why is there an eerie silence now?  Where are the Ebola detractors?

Oh, that’s right, they’re all getting ready to count the votes in tomorrow’s mid-term elections.

What about Ebola?

Nah, they all knew it wasn’t a real threat. But it had to be overblown to increase their protégés’ chances of getting elected. Tomorrow.

Yes, tomorrow, get out and VOTE!

 

 

SF GIANTS QUARANTINED FOR 21 DAYS; FRIDAY’S VICTORY PARADE CANCELLED

imageSan Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Friday’s victory parade for the World Series champs has been cancelled, San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee announced this morning. The San Francisco Giants beat the Kansas City Royals in Game 7 Wednesday night to clinch its third World Series title in five years.

The announcement came after Lee received a call from from Kansas City Mayor Sly James that the entire San Francisco team has been quarantined for 21 days and barred from flying.

The state of Kansas has declared a new viral outbreak that’s highly contagious, more so than Ebola. The outbreak seemed to have started during Game 6 of the World Series. Tens of thousands of baseball fans, many of whom came in direct contact with the Giants, exhibited severe symptoms of euphoria, nervous breakdown, intoxication, inflammation of the vocal cords and hypertension — all of which were traced back to Game 6. By Game 7, the new contagion tripled, causing the state of Kansas to declare a health emergency. A new symptom — depression — developed overnight but strangely enough, only the Royals fans are exhibiting it.

Upon consultation with the Feds, notably the Centers for Disease Control, Kansas imposed a mandatory 21-day quarantine on all who attended Games 6 and 7 of the Word Series at the Kauffman stadium. Unfortunately, that includes the Giants team.

Mayor Lee asked for calm in San Francisco and promised that the victory parade will be rescheduled immediately after the Giants are released from quarantine.

Madison Bumgarner, who is widely credited for his role in clinching the World Series title for the Giants, tweeted from Kansas: ‘Bummer!’