Ah, the DDS bloggers—pioneers of the digital Wild West, where the only currency that matters is engagement and cold, hard cash.

Once hailed as fearless keyboard warriors, now they’re shaking in their boots at the mere thought of a congressional hearing. Instead of RSVPing like normal people, they dashed straight to the Supreme Court, as if invited to an exorcism instead of a committee probing fake news. The irony is as rich as their monetized content.

But wait—plot twist! Now they’re suing Congressman Ace Barbers for allegedly calling them “narco bloggers,” a phrase he never actually used to call them, specifically! Yet, like a fish caught by its own mouth, they admitted his speech endangered their “lucrative” vlogging business. Ah, the sweet sound of self-incrimination! Nothing says “we’re legitimate” like panicking over potential demonetization.

And let’s not forget that some of these vloggers are actual lawyers—one even boasts two suspensions, with a disbarment attempt on the horizon. Who needs ethics when you have super chats? In the end, their lawsuit isn’t about justice. It’s about preserving the cash flow. Because in this influencer economy, the real crime isn’t lying—it’s going broke.