NSA LEAK REVEALS OSCAR WINNERS IN ADVANCE OF THE ACADEMY AWARDS SHOW

oscarsHollywood, California – The National Security Administration (NSA) continues to be in hot water in connection with leaks of classified information.  Apparently, not even Hollywood is exempt from the monitoring of phone calls and emails by the U.S. government.

In the latest breach of secret and embargoed information, an NSA intern has intercepted  an electronic document from Price Waterhouse Cooper, the official independent auditors of the Oscars, which contains the list of winners in the various categories of the 2014 Academy Awards.  The announcement of winners is scheduled for March 2 during ceremonies at the Dolby Theater in Hollywood.  The intern leaked the document to TMZ as well as The Adobo Chronicles.

The editorial boards of both TMZ and The Adobo Chronicles have decided not to publish the leaked information, except for “Best Picture.”  The Oscar is going to “12 Years A Slave.” They have also decided to at least provide a clue as to who will win the Oscar for “Actress in a Supporting Role.”  The clue:  it is NOT going to be Jennifer Lawrence.

This is the second big controversy faced by this year’s Oscars.  A few weeks ago, The Adobo Chronicles reported that Ellen DeGeneres withdrew from her role as host for this year’s ceremonies because the producers did not grant her request to include in her opening monologue an actual wedding ceremony with her spouse, Portia de Rossi.  The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences has not announced Ellen’s replacement.  We wonder if NSA has that information.

WHAT’S REALLY AT STAKE IN U.S.-CANADA RIVALRY IN OLYMPIC ICE HOCKEY

imageSochi, Russia –  Yesterday’s U.S. loss to Canada in Women’s Ice Hockey at the Sochi Winter Olympics was, to say the least, devastating to Americans. Today, there is another opportunity for Americans to prove to the world – and to Canadians – who the real Hockey king is.  The U.S. faces Canada in the Men’s Hockey semi- finals.

All Olympic athletes and all countries represented in Sochi have one ultimate goal in mind: the gold medal. But not for the U.S. or Canada. Either country wants to beat the other, but for a different reason: the loser gets to keep Justin Bieberimage13.jpg

With yesterday’s loss in the women’s competition, Bieber gets to stay in the U.S. The American Men’s Hockey team has the chance to reverse that today by defeating Canada and send Bieber packing his bags and back to his native country.

‘I CAN’T GET ELECTED BECAUSE I’M DUMB,’ MICHELE BACHMANN ADMITS

imagesMinneapolis, Minnesota – Michele Bachmann, representative from Minnesota and a candidate for the 2012 Republican nomination for president, is in the news yet again, this time because of sweeping sexist and racist statements she told reporters regarding the U.S. presidential elections.

Bachmann said that America was not ready for a woman president, alluding to Hillary Clinton who is believed to be the frontrunner for the Democratic nomination for president in 2016.  She also said that Barack Obama was elected president only because white people felt guilty about slavery.

Pressed by reporters on whether she was planning to seek the Republican presidential nomination again in 2016, Bachmann admitted that she can’t get elected because she’s dumb. “I’ve come to this reality for quite some time now,” she told reporters, “so I’m quite fine with giving up the contest in favor of our Republican boys’ club. But what I won’t give up is my title as ‘Queen of the Tea Party.'” She is the founder of the House Tea Party Caucus.

“Just like the Queen of England, Ms. Bachmann likes to be addressed as ‘Your Highness,’ aides told The Adobo Chronicles.

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